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(satire?)
Mounted police officers and City bankers to tackle outbreaks of fire in the capital
London Mayor Boris Johnson has announced plans for the Metropolitan Police to clamp down on any serious outbreaks of fire in London this summer with the use of water cannon, baton charges from mounted police officers and containment of out-of-control flames by kettling.
The hardline approach to tackling rioting gangs of house fires comes after the Mayor was heavily criticised for going ahead with the closure of 10 fire stations and the loss of 552 firefighters across the capital.
A spokesperson for the Mayor said scaremongering by critics that cuts to frontline fire fighting services would put the public in danger was irresponsible:
“We have ordered extra water cannon and patrols of armed police who will not hesitate to open fire on any criminal blazes that think they can get away with targeting innocent homes and businesses.”
The spokesperson added Mr Johnson had also received assurances from bankers in the City of London that they are prepared to do everything they can to help fight outbreaks of fire in the capital by smothering the flames with the enormous piles of cash bonuses they’ll be able to pay themselves if the government only promises to cut their taxes again.
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The 7 Deadly Sins according to Boris Johnson
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So what’s the real reason Boris Johnson broke his promise not to cut London’s fire services?
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Please feel free to comment.
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Drew said:
It sort of writes itself these days…. Not the most challenging government for a satirical wit to work with are they….
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Tom Pride said:
They satirise themselves so much better than I can.
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First Night Design said:
Thank god for the laughter. Thank you!
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John gilleece said:
More truth in that satire than you would believe
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eviltorypervert said:
well what do we need fireman for anyway.
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Bluecat said:
Don’t report fires – ring the police and claim there’s a riot going on.
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stevencharlesrae said:
Reblogged this on stevencharlesrae's Blog.
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seachranaidhe1 said:
Reblogged this on seachranaidhe1.
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guy fawkes said:
Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink, if water charges increase further that is.
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Franklin Percival said:
Next time there is a fire in Town we know what to do. Wheel Johnson up on a sack barrow, some brave alderman can then pop him with a hat pin and I can assure that nothing will survive the ensuing explosion of excreta.
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