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UK politicians are considering abolishing the death penalty for non-possession of firearms on public transport after a court ruled police lawfully executed a young passenger who was not in possession of a firearm in a taxi.

The controversial proposals – which would involve commuting death sentences to whole life imprisonment in cases where members of the public were found to be not in possession of a gun while riding as a passenger on a train, bus or taxi – were made last week by an all-party group of MPs sitting on the powerful Public Transport Taxi and Blunderbuss Committee in the House of Commons.

According to press reports, the MPs were said to be “optimistic” about the bill passing “in view of the current reform movement in the UK to prevent more people being executed for forgetting to carry a gun while using a taxi or a bus“.

In a related development, a parliamentary seminar was also held earlier this week at which several radical proposals were presented which included decriminalising possession of a brown skin in a public area and the legalisation of public displays of working class accents.

The moves come not long after the Home Office recommended reducing sentences for young people found guilty of wearing a hooded top in public from a previous maximum sentence of being beaten up in a police cell for up to two nights to getting a good kicking in the back of a van for half an hour by a maximum of three officers, according to the UAP news agency.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

Met drops Shapps investigation. Police running scared of Tories after plebgate?

Angry police seek right to kettle themselves

Tories on Plebgate: police lied. Tories on Hillsborough: blaming police “contemptible”

Proof that the Metropolitan Police is being privatised?

Police to shift crime fighting focus away from shagging hippies to catching criminals

Police Chief – police expected to clear homeless, not catch criminals

Boris Johnson: outbreaks of fire to be kettled and baton charged by mounted police

No link at all between police, paedophilia, plebs and politicians. Probably.

Would refusing to cooperate with a G4S detective mean you could be charged with hindering a police investigation?


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