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(satire?)

The Seven Cardinal Sins as interpreted by Boris Johnson:

  • Lust  — an effective motivator for ensuring men don’t spend too much time playing video games or golf. Also provides long-term economic security to florists, chocolate manufacturers and the international diamond industry.
  • Gluttony — a key attribute essential in society for ensuring top job creators in charge of large food and drink manufacturers are able to regularly upgrade their personal ocean-going luxury yachts.
  • Greed — a powerful motivator for success in the crucial financial services industry which encourages executives to create profitable economic meltdowns and lucrative recessions.
  • Sloth  — an essential characteristic in any society wishing to stimulate its economy by developing an all-important television reality show sector.
  • Wrath — indispensable feelings of hatred, revenge, intolerance and punitive scapegoating without which a successful tabloid newspaper industry would not be able to function.
  • Pride  — An essential desire to make oneself more like the Mayor of London.
  • Envy  — A useful evolutionary catalyst for social and economic progress which encourages subordinate male apes on the lower social scale in the dominance hierarchy to aspire to being like the Alpha Male  – in all his blond haired, mop-headed, Old-Etonian, pot-bellied glory. Envy also encourages females to aspire to being one of those lucky enough to mate with him. 

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

The Boris Johnson IQ Test – take this quick test to see exactly how thick you are

Boris Johnson slashes number of deadly sins across London in bid to privatise greed

The definition of IQ according to Einstein

Oscar-winning Hollywood actor Michael Douglas to play Boris Johnson in new film

Here’s an interesting signature on a petition against ticket office closures: a Mr Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson to paint his arse blue in effort to reduce cycling deaths

Cycling deaths in London – Boris to make an exception of himself?

So what’s the real reason Boris Johnson broke his promise not to cut London’s fire services?

London’s fire engines are now owned by one man – an old Etonian

Boris Johnson can’t distance himself from Cameron. He’s family.

Tory Modernisers Vow To Drag Party Into 19th Century

David Cameron To Tackle Bullingdon Club Binge Drinking Scandal

Where are all the left-wing rebellious Old-Etonians? Or are they all brainwashed?

Cameron’s Big Society – TOFFS paying SPIVS to rip off PLEBS

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