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The new governor of the Bank of England, Mark Carney, has signalled that Britain’s ultra-low rates of interest by its citizens in what the f**k is happening to the economy would remain unchanged until well after the 2015 general election as he stressed that only a big fall in cynicism would bring an end to the high levels of boredom experienced by most people brought about by discussing economic matters.

In a move welcomed by George Osborne as likely to support the UK recovery from its deepest political cynicism in recent history, Carney said he would wait until public interest rates in reality television lowered substantially before considering whether to discuss the dire state of the economy again.

A spokesperson for the Chancellor said:

There are clear signs that levels of public cynicism are still too high but we welcome the continuing low levels of interest by the public in all things economic because then hopefully no-one will notice what a complete pig’s ear we’ve been making of the economy until well after the next election.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

George Osborne Is Not A Wanker – He’s A Genius!

More People Believe In Loch Ness Monster Than In Osborne’s Ability To Run Economy

Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’? No, really.

George Osborne ‘honoured’ to have royal baby named after him

IMF warn George Osborne’s idiocy still acting as drag on the economy

Countdown – red faces as contestant spells out naughty word from OBSOREN

An APOLOGY to Rt Hon George Osborne MP from Tom Pride


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