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(satire – I think)

In a long expected move, Goldman Sachs has joined ratings agencies S&P and Fitch in downgrading God to ‘junk‘ status after recent figures show they are now the ones who are omnipotently running everything in the whole of the known universe.

The move comes not long after market analysts also downgraded Love to junk status after market analysts revealed that it is no longer the prime mover in providing impetus for the world to turn. Both short-term and long-term forecasts have been indicating for some time that it is in fact Money which makes the world go round.

The downgrades come on the tail of a surprise announcement by Pope Benedict that he is to step down at the end of the month as God’s CEO after admitting his failure to take into account changing market fundamentals which clearly show it is in fact the love of money and not homosexuality which is the root of all evil.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

The (Real) Definition Of Credit Ratings From AAA to Junk Status….

Church of England says no to women bishops, knights and rooks

Conservative Party Split Over Tame-Sex Marriage

Gove – free bibles to boost nutritional standards on school menus

Act Of Gove: an event beyond human control – often of a destructive nature – for which there is no legal redress

‘Militant testicularisation’ taking hold in British society, says Lady Warsi

Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’. Really.

David Cameron is Jesus. Probably.


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