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(satire?)
The Tory election campaign has been thrown into chaos with the stunning revelations that David Cameron has been having a secret long-term love affair with himself for the last 5 years.
For legal reasons, Pride’s Purge cannot disclose the identity of the serving UK prime minister that Mr Cameron is alleged to have been involved with – however we can reveal that when aides told Mr Cameron he’d been shagging himself for the last 2 years he was ‘stunned’, and, according to sources, ‘immediately realised the importance of the story’ to his reelection campaign.
As the shockwaves from the stunning revelations spread ever more widely, Mr Cameron and senior Tory campaign strategy aids are said to be discussing the possible fallout should details of his affair with himself become public just days before the country goes to the polls on Thursday.
Mr Cameron’s long-term partner, Nick Clegg, was said to be devastated by the news, and sources close to the Liberal Democrat leader privately say such a disclosure has ‘blown out of the water’ any attempt to rekindle the relationship between Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg which was already experiencing difficulties.
The news comes just days after doctors confirmed Mr Clegg has recently been suffering from severe electile dysfunction, with symptoms which include a consistent loss of elections, poor performance, political impotence and premature ejaculation from parliament.
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sdbast said:
Reblogged this on sdbast.
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Jonathan Wilson said:
That must be how he gets such a dish face, round and red, by wanking furiously then stopping short of the happy ending.
No wonder he’s such a miserable cockwombling spunk flute.
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bobchewie said:
CAMERON ALSO LET SLIP THAT ELECTION WAS ” CARREER DEFINING MOMENT FOR HIM
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daveyone1 said:
Reblogged this on World4Justice : NOW! Lobby Forum..
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patricknelson750 said:
I always wondered about the rosy dish face : )
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dorsych said:
Shureley not “premature ejaculation from parliament”. He should have been ejaculated over five years ago but he’s been ejaculating over the rest of us, thanks to that helping hand from Clegg.
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Quinonostante said:
Reblogged this on Mentally Wealthy.
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A6er said:
Reblogged this on Britain Isn't Eating.
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eeyorn said:
Reblogged this on eeyorntails.
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tunefultony said:
David Cameron — while having a hot & steamy yet undisclosed affair with himself for the past 4 years is secretly very much committed to keeping Trident because not only does he have erotic nightly dreams in which Trident features prominently but also he believes that Trident is a very important British National Phallic Object [BNPO for short]….. David Cameron has promised the British Electorate that to annoy the Scots and NicolaSsturgeon if he gets back into Downing street he will have Trident clandestinely kidnapped at night by MI6 and spirited away and relocated from Faslane on the Clyde to Cambridge on the Cam…. 🙂
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