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Labour leader to unveil English-language strategy as part of initiative to improve social integration between parents and teenagers in Britain
Under a Labour government, teenagers who have to interact with their parents and other members of the public will have to show proficiency in the English language – instead of just tutting and whining about everything being stupid, Ed Miliband will announce on Friday.
Outlining a major initiative to improve integration between parents and their offspring in Britain, the Labour leader will say that every teenager should know how to speak English, not just communicate by raising their eyes to heaven and muttering every time they’re asked to do something.
In a speech in London on Friday morning, Miliband will outline a three-point plan:
• The use of ‘mockney’ by anyone not actually born anywhere near the east end of London will be restricted along with other annoying mock accents such as West Indian patois by middle-class white kids.
• A requirement for employees in all publicly funded jobs in Newcastle to be able to communicate with members of the public in other parts of the UK by learning to speak English in a way the rest of us can understand.
• Schools and parents will be encouraged to share responsibility for helping teenagers become proficient in English by including lessons and intensive training on how to communicate without inserting the word “like” between every word in a sentence.
However, in a statement, a spokesperson for teenagers expressed opposition to the proposals by tutting loudly and saying:
That’s well out of order. I hate you!
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bobchewie said:
Ive got odd characters appearing in your text. What is going on there?
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minou999 said:
One abuse of the English language that I would like to see dealt with is the ubiquitous ‘should of’ meaning “should have” – where does that come from?
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bobchewie said:
Decaying brain cells brought on by dire tv programs and lack of critical thinking
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lord macalpine said:
knickers
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derek laud said:
well bugger me.
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bobchewie said:
Welcome to modern britain
A place where any attempt to post links to contraversial matters such as noble ppl doing bad things to children is duely prevented.. Thanks wordpress scumbags
And those toadying isp ares holes who bleed me dry.. And spooks and other ratbbags..
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poetmcgonagall said:
I think the rest of country should learn to speak Geordie.
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Tom Pride said:
That would work. Maybe you should suggest it to the Labour Party?
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