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tory-o-meter

Worried you might be just a little bit Tory?

Worry no more!

Take this 14 question quiz and find out your own Toryness – the higher your percentage, the more Tory you are!

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RESULTS

0% – 40%:
You are in no way a Tory. You probably still think unemployment is caused by a lack of jobs and not by unfettered hordes of asylum-seeking lesbians and scrounging single mothers flooding into the country from JohnnyForeignerLand.

40%-70%:
You’re halfway there, but you could still do better. You need to think more about the DIRE consequences of allowing the unemployed to waste their money on unnecessary luxuries like food. It’s all very well feeling sorry for the people next door who need to feed their starving children but dear God WHAT ABOUT THE HOUSE PRICES?

Above 70%:
Well done! You’re as Tory as the product of a G&T-fuelled act of copulation between Nigel Farage and Katie Hopkins. You were probably born on Remembrance Day on a golf course somewhere in Surrey which means you just KNOW the decline of Britain is all down to those radical feminist Muslim immigrants getting gay married all over the place. You’d never even dream of TALKING to a Romanian (not even the nice one who installed your kitchen) never mind living next door to one and you’d NEVER EVER vote Labour – in case it gives you cancer. So pour yourself a shot of Gordon’s, put on a Gary Barlow CD, and celebrate by writing an outraged letter to that nice Mr Dacre about how the left-wing BBC is bowing to EU pressure and union bosses to destroy all we hold dear by drastically reducing the number of times your wheelie bins are emptied.

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