Some of the best #brexitopportunity tweets at winding up humourless brexiters

Tags

Brexit, EU, international

Twitter has been doing its thing under the #brexitopportunity hashtag today – nicely winding up uptight brexit supporters.

Here – in my opinion – are some of the best:

I've decided to opt out of the NHS instead I'm going to negotiate with various diseases for my best possible treatment #brexitopportunity

— lee caldicott (@elvisthecat44) December 16, 2016

After launching myself off a cliff, I'm now in negotiations with the ground on a soft or hard landing. #BrexitOpportunity

— Tom Lewis (@tomtclewis) December 16, 2016

Stopped sending my kids to school. I'm going to negotiate with individual teachers to make sure I get the very best deal #brexitopportunity

— Otto English (@Otto_English) December 16, 2016

I’ve sacked the police. I’m going to negotiate with individual criminals to leave me alone. They want a small fee. #brexitopportunity

— John Stevenson (@johnstevenson_x) December 16, 2016

#BrexitOpportunity

Selling my next book one page at a time to random people in the queue outside the Job Centre

— Will Black (@WillBlackWriter) December 16, 2016

I've stopped buying food at Tesco, I'm negotiating directly with global producers instead. I want the best possible deal #brexitopportunity

— Mungo (@Mungo_5) December 16, 2016

Not bothering with stamps anymore. I'm negotiating a BETTER DEAL with individual postmen to deliver my mail. #BrexitOpportunity

— Nick Cawood (@nickc909) December 16, 2016

Tesco sell more to me than they buy from me, so if they want my custom they'll accept MY terms or they'll be sorry!#BrexitOpportunity

— Andrew R (@ExcelPope) December 16, 2016

#BrexitOpportunity I've decided to opt out of a parachute and negotiate an individual deal with gravity

— Davyg (@SlapBatter) December 16, 2016

Stopped buying Corn Flakes. I now flake each individual piece of corn myself for the most nutritious breakfast possible. #BrexitOpportunity

— Mark Tinman (@MarkTinman) December 16, 2016

Decided to cancel my broadband contract to negotiate deals with each individual website that I want to access #BrexitOpportunity

— Hugh Rodger (@HDRodger) December 16, 2016

Decided to bin Apple Music and negotiate individual music deals with all my favourite artists #brexitopportunity

— totalmink (@totalmink) December 16, 2016

I'm resigning from the AA and negotiating separate agreements with car repairers across the UK. I'll be aiming for the best possible deal.

— Keith Burge (@carryonkeith) December 15, 2016

I'm off to Saudi to negotiate the best price to fill my petrol tank. #brexitopportunity

— Gregory Hall (@etmilitavi) December 16, 2016

Now we're leaving the EU and we're free of the shackles of health & safety red tape I can finally make toast in the bath. #brexitopportunity

— Chris Kendall (@ottocrat) December 16, 2016

I've texted all my mates to tell them to fuck off but hope to still be involved in rounds down the pub #BrexitOpportunity

— Macca (@Macca_ISZ) December 16, 2016

I've opted out of Instagram and I'm going to track down the most appreciative individuals to look at photos of my food. #BrexitOpportunity

— Oonagh (@Okeating) December 16, 2016

Stopped using my staircase for free. Now negotiating with each step a fair price to stand on it. May sleep on the sofa. #BrexitOpportunity

— Arsene's Eyes (@Arsenes_Eyes) December 16, 2016

And my personal favourite:

I won't give a running commentary on my strategy, but it involves PirateBay #brexit #nexit #brexflix pic.twitter.com/b1xKfhPB2O

— Trumpton (@Trump_ton) December 16, 2016

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If I’ve missed any good ones – please let me know in the comments below.