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In his budget announced yesterday, the Chancellor George Osborne has made a big step to improving low growth levels in northern areas of Britain by reducing taxes on whippets and pigeons.

Working class northerners will now be able to invest up to £500,000 tax free in miniature racing dogs until at least 2015 as the Chancellor bowed to pressure from the doggy lobby.

The chancellor also hiked the annual pigeon investment allowance to £250,000 in a bid to tackle chronic under-investment in UK pigeon keeping.

However, in a statement, a treasury spokesperson denied Mr Osborne was patronising northern and working class voters:

In times of austerity, the chancellor understands very well how grim it must be to live up north. That’s why this government is doing everything it can to help hard-working people who after a hard-day down the mine, like nothing better than to relax in the grimy backyards of their tiny 2-up 2-downs tending to their whippets, fancying pigeons and eating pies.

Mr Osborne has also indicated he is preparing in the next budget to make further significant hikes to maximum levels of personal tax allowances on key indicators such as bacon butties, mushy peas and brass band music.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

Best of #ToryBingo on Twitter

Grant Shapps: I love digging holes as much as I love beer and bingo

This is why the Tory bingo poster isn’t just funny – it’s downright creepy

BBC Denies It Was Aware Jimmy Savile Was A Northerner

Oops! Tory Chair Grant Shapps admits Tories are not hardworking people


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