(satire?)
In his budget announced yesterday, the Chancellor George Osborne has made a big step to improving low growth levels in northern areas of Britain by reducing taxes on whippets and pigeons.
Working class northerners will now be able to invest up to £500,000 tax free in miniature racing dogs until at least 2015 as the Chancellor bowed to pressure from the doggy lobby.
The chancellor also hiked the annual pigeon investment allowance to £250,000 in a bid to tackle chronic under-investment in UK pigeon keeping.
However, in a statement, a treasury spokesperson denied Mr Osborne was patronising northern and working class voters:
“In times of austerity, the chancellor understands very well how grim it must be to live up north. That’s why this government is doing everything it can to help hard-working people who after a hard-day down the mine, like nothing better than to relax in the grimy backyards of their tiny 2-up 2-downs tending to their whippets, fancying pigeons and eating pies.”
Mr Osborne has also indicated he is preparing in the next budget to make further significant hikes to maximum levels of personal tax allowances on key indicators such as bacon butties, mushy peas and brass band music.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
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Oops! Tory Chair Grant Shapps admits Tories are not hardworking people
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Please feel free to comment.
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Pride's Purge 
does anyone want to see my winky.
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I hear Kate Bush is undertaking her first UK tour in 35 years – 15 nights in the same venue in London (not satire)
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When technology crashes we will still have our carrier pigeons to send our messages, as snail mail relies on technology too!
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Reblogged this on Beastrabban’s Weblog and commented:
Although this is satire, I have a horrible feeling this is very much how the Tories see the North. And it may as well form part of their plan to appeal to the voters oop North as well. After all, it’s not any more ridiculous than sending Jacob Rees-Mogge, the pukka Eton educated son of William Rees-Mogge, to walk around Yorkshire asking people why no-one votes Conservative there. Hint – it might, just might, have something to do with the way they devastated the entire region’s economy and then had the Sun boast about it. But that’s just my guess.
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The sad thing is people up north are still deluded enough to think labour has their interests at heart and are the same party that was started by the unions, not the one that is trying to split from, the unions,sadly still voting for them like sheep. As far as I am concerned nobody is worth voting for.
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