According to press reports, Tony Blair is preparing to step back from his role as Satan Incarnate, amid deep unease from some US and EU officials over his plans for demonic world domination,

The Financial Times cites “several people familiar with the situation” as saying the former Prime Minister has recognised that a frontline role as envoy for the Quartet of Middle East peace negotiators is no longer compatible with his full-time position as the Infernal Father of Lies and the Prince of Darkness and Author of All Wordly Sins.

Blair was appointed Quartet envoy in 2007, shortly after stepping down from a decade as British Prime Minister, but sources close to Blair say he will have to amend his role as both the Fallen Angel of Earthly Temptations and The Great 5-Headed Dragon of Deceit if he is to remain a part of the Middle East peace process.

If he does step aside, it would bring an end to years of controversy over a potential conflict of interests between his role as a Middle East diplomat, his private business interests and his position as the Biblical God Beelzebub.

The FT quotes one unnamed diplomat as saying: “It is long overdue. He has been ineffective in this job. He has no credibility in this part of the world. And he’s the Anti-Christ.


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