David Cameron has pledged a free vote in Parliament on punching people in the face who haven’t prepared dinner on time if the Conservatives win the General Election.
The Prime Minister’s pledge to allow a vote on the face punching ban if he has a clear majority after May 7, was last night hailed as the right move by campaigners.
Mr Cameron said he shares people’s frustration at the legislation outlawing the slapping of tardy food preparers in the kisser– which has now been in place for decades – and would like to see the ban repealed.
In a statement to the press, Mr Cameron said a free vote on the right to punch out the lights of anyone not having food ready on time was the right approach and Mr Cameron’s pledge – made in an article in the Countryside Alliance magazine – would mean there was a real possibility of the ban being overturned and would make the topic an election issue:
“I have always been a strong supporter of traditional sports and thumping indolent underlings is my sport that I love and I want to be able to do it legally. It would not have been possible over the past five years because overturning the ban on smacking servants in the mouth needs a clear majority of Conservatives in Parliament. A Conservative Government, however, will give Parliament the opportunity to repeal the anti-thumping legislation on a free vote, with a government Bill in government time.”
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Reblogged this on aspiblog and commented:
A thorough and very funny skewering of Mr Cameron by Tom Pride…
Reblogged this on Beastrabban’s Weblog and commented:
It should come as absolutely no surprise that Cameron is a supporter of fox-hunting. Oscar Wilde was absolutely right about it being a case of the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible.
And it also wouldn’t be the first time an aristo has complained about the state’s interference with his right to beat his servants. Way back in the reign of one of the Edwards, an anonymous ‘libel’ appeared in Norman French complaining about the law Edward I had passed banning the Norman lords from beating up their servants. It claimed that if this law was allowed to go unchecked, then free-born English nobles would have to go off to the green wood like Robin Hood, forced into hiding by an oppressive government that doesn’t allow toffs the freedom of slapping around the lower orders.
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I think you will find it is already UKIP policy to be able to slap all foreigners who do not have enough Australian points. The smaller the number of points, the harder the slap they are entitled to administer. Labour politicians, of course, are well ahead of the game and have been all for a good slap at egg scrambling Prezzies for many years now. (Some satire, some fact).
Reblogged this on sdbast.
Mark Catlin said:
Reblogged this on markcatlin3695's Blog.
R Wood said:
Quite right! Those nasty proletarian underlings are only poor because they went to a common comprehensive school and don’t have the right friends.
Reblogged this on | truthaholics and commented:
More ConDem buffoonery:
‘Cameron praised Clarkson as a “huge talent” and told BBC Midlands Today he hoped the situation could be resolved so his children would not be left “heartbroken!”‘
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Soooo funny .I laughed until tears ran down my cheeks.
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Jeremy Clarkson maintains that he never punched producer Oisin Tymon, and that they have always been good friends…. The story has been inflated, sexed-up, if you will, and seized upon by Danny Cohen at the BEEB in his personal vendetta, to use any excuse to get shut of Clarkson, whom he sees as inexcusably politically incorrect. Oisin Tymon has not made any complaint to the Hotel or to North Yorkshire Police, and if he had been punched, bruised, or injured by Clarkson then he would have had grounds to make a formal complaint. Newspapers thrive on this kind of non-story, and I am not even a particular fan of Jeremy Clarkson.
Can’t abide fox-hunting, can’t abide Clarkson, can’t abide abuse to anyone just because a certain cretin wants a hot meal – can’t abide the tories or anyone associated with them.
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Reblogged this on Jay's Journal and commented:
Another good ‘un from Tom Pride…
The Infamous Culex said:
How do you know that foxes are inedible?