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Archaeologists have reportedly discovered the legendary lost balls of British prime minister David Cameron, deep in the thick jungles of Honduras.

The balls – thought to have once belonged to the leader before he lost them while escaping brutal hand-to-hand debating with his enemies – were discovered while on an expedition to a remote valley of La Mosquitia to find the long lost spine of deputy prime minister Nick Clegg.

The team of specialists in archaeology and other fields, escorted by three British bushwhacking guides and a detail of Honduran special forces, discovered the lost Cameron family jewels in an area where an aerial survey had found evidence of a lost money-worshipping civilisation led by a ball-less leader, often depicted in contemporary images as a red-faced, chicken-livered phallus.

The dramatic news comes just weeks after scientists in the US claim to have succeeded in growing balls on Liberal Democrat test subjects in a laboratory.


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