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BREAKING – boost to UK economy as George Osborne announces Monopoly money to be included in GDP figures

From March, Monopoly money in sets around the country will be included in official GDP figures in a massive boost for hard-working families, the Chancellor George Osborne has announced

The Chancellor’s shrewd decision means the British economy is set to receive a £10 billion boost in a move which puts opposition leader Ed Miliband on the back foot in the the run-up to the general election in May.

As the country revamps the way it calculates its GDP to include Monopoly money in its official national accounts, the Chancellor contrasted his prudent attempts to acquire Fenchurch Street Station and Mayfair with Labour’s record of recklessly spending money on the Old Kent Road and Pall Mall.

Economic experts have also lambasted Labour’s shadow chancellor Ed Balls for his irresponsible decision to use his Get Out of Jail Free card when he should have saved it for use later.

In contrast to Labour’s scandalous ignoring of the millions that taxpayers have stashed away in boardgame boxes around the country, Mr Osborne’s savvy decision means that for the first time, the Office for National Statistics is ready to help hard-working, white, non-Muslim families living in the south of England by “ripping up” the way it measures the UK economy, the Daily Mail and the Sun and the Express and the Telegraph and the Times and Sky News reports.

The move comes just months after Mr Osborne gave another massive boost to the UK economy by including prostitution and illegal drugs in GDP figures.

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The Coalition Government Colouring and Activity Book is now available for download as a PDF and in print:

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