(satire?)
Actress Gwyneth Paltrow has recommended regular steam-cleaning of government ministers in order to eliminate poisonous toxins which can easily build up in a cabinet dominated by Conservative MPs.
Mrs Paltrow’s lifestyle website goop.com carries a recommendation that Tory minister Iain Duncan Smith in particular should be regularly steam-cleaned in order to rebalance the out-of-sync and obviously unbalanced Secretary of State for Work and Pensions.
Benefits of IDS Steam Baths
IDS steam baths are said to bring many healing benefits to sick Secretaries of State, and the unique combination of herbs supposedly works to nourish, tone, heal, cleanse and increase the blood supply to the undernourished hearts and brains of even the longest-serving Conservative cabinet ministers and re-sensitise the insensitive tissue of the most hardened of hearts.
Supporters of the controversial treatment say the moist heat of the steam bath opens the heart of whatever Tory minister it comes into contact with and the water vapour carries the medicinal benefits of the plants, including volatile oils, which are absorbed into the tissues and enters the bloodstream of the cabinet minister, warming even the most cold-blooded of Secretaries of State.
Experts however have dismissed the fantastic claims of the IDS Steam Baths, saying it is ridiculous to claim that the condition of heart tissue can be repaired in obviously heartless government ministers such as Iain Duncan Smith.
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The Coalition Government Colouring and Activity Book is now available for download as a PDF and in print:
Pride's Purge 
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Reblogged this on sdbast.
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Reblogged this on Beastrabban’s Weblog and commented:
Sadly, it is far too late for any steam baths, Bach flower remedies, homeopathic cures or natural herbal remedies to cure Ian Duncan Smith. He had something like it long ago, only it was the dead fluids used to turn Sidney into Judge Death in the Judge Dredd strip. Since then, he has continued his cross-dimensional crusade to kill everyone living, as it is obviously living people, who are the source of all crime. Especially benefit fraud.
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Oh the thought of watching #IDS (just his mug) receiving a hot Enema – he would need new underwear then 🙂 Brilliant Tom xx
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… opens the heart of whatever Tory minister it comes into contact with …
Ha ha ha! freezing cold in a house without central heating, nil benefits, nil state pension not likely to get any after a lifetime in work.
https://you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/state-pension-at-60-now
See what is coming under my petiton, in my WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT section.
A Tory has a heart. Yeah!
The Tories, the rich man’s party, are heirs to a 1000 year tradition since 1066 AD and all that. Watch any period drama on TV. The Normans have not one grain of compassion for the poor. They never have.
The Truck system is back legally in the workplace and called the salary sacrifice system that drags down wages far below the minimum wage, that is useless as it is not a living wage.
The workhouse sneaks in, the forced labour like Nazi Germany of workfare, and beggars of the homeless created by the Bedroom Tax by politicians getting over £25,000 a year second home allowance PLUS expenses, and kids starving on benefit sanctions many months long, when it takes a month to starve to death.
And the Tories promise to cut the money to the starving by 23 per cent when they win in May. Yes they are now sure of a victory.
But there is a way the poor could upset the apple cart as they have done in Greece, where the cashless now have food, free electricity, poor pensioners of a great age have got back food money pension and the minimum wage has gone back to what it was.
The excellent Benefits and Work website has come up with information that could get real socialists into power. I further broke down the figures on my personal website. See how on:
http://www.anastasia-england.me.uk
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The original story seems to recommend steam cleaning of a lady’s private parts and thus the above appears to liken Iain ‘Duncan’ Smith to a cunt.
Please do not do this, as it is grossly inaccurate; it implies that, despite appearances to the contrary, he might yet have at least one useful function.
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