(satire?)

Buckingham Palace has “emphatically” denied allegations made in a US court case against Prince Andrew which allege the Duke of York once had ten thousand men.

The Queen’s second son, 54, has laid low since shocking allegations emerged made by large numbers of men that they had been regularly forced half-way up a hill by the Prince and then made to go down again and again against their will.

However, a statement from Buckingham Palace has strongly denied the claims, saying  the men involved had in fact at the time of the alleged offences been neither up nor down:

“This relates to ongoing civil proceedings in the United States to which the Duke of York is not a party. However, for the avoidance of doubt, any suggestions that the Prince had ten thousand men up when they were up and down when they were down is emphatically and categorically untrue.”

Prince Andrew was named in court documents filed against billionaire Jeffrey Epstein, who has previously pleaded guilty and served 13 months in jail for abusing several celebrities – some as young as 48 years old – by forcing them to have sex with underage girls for his own sadistic pleasure.

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