(satire?)

What does Christmas mean to you?

Perhaps it’s mistletoe and Cockney rhyme on the Eastenders Christmas Day special, or children drinking Christian wine.

Or perhaps it’s being in a meadow building a snowman, with sleigh bells ringing, walking in a winter wonderland that costs a very reasonable 48 quid for a family ticket (off peak)?

Or maybe it’s rocking around the Christmas tree having a holi-holi-day?

Well, while enjoying your traditional Christmas this year – whether making snowballs with your friends or filling your nostrils with fresh powdery snow – why not spare a thought for millions of poor, deprived children in Africa who live in a climate where it never ever snows? Ever.

Because for them, there won’t be any snowballs in Africa this Christmas time!

And not even one cube of ice to go in it.

And that is why, big-hearted stars including Bob Geldof, Bono and Gary Barlow have pledged to join together to bring snow to Africa this Christmas Time.

But now U 2 can help millions of little black children escape the “burning sun” of Africa where “nothing ever grows”.

By helping Bono, Bob and Gary ensure the winter weather in Africa is much more temperate and rainy, with snow that sometimes even sticks, just like ours.

All you have to do to is buy their records and the big-hearted stars will be able to buy lots and lots more snow with your money.

Here – in the stars own words – are why this Christmas we should Let It Snow!

Bono: “For me, Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas without plenty of snow. I can’t imagine what it must be like for all those millions of people who can’t afford it. I mean, without snow, it’s a world of dread and fear. And most of them have probably never even been to Switzerland skiing.”

Bob Geldof: “There’s not enough f*cking snow in Africa.  Put your f*cking hands in your f*cking pockets and let’s get some f*cking snow. C*nts!”

Gary Barlow: “My accountants tell me that by investing £26m in this scheme, you’ll be helping me ensure it’ll be snowing f*cking buckets in the Barlow home this Christmas.”

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Please feel free to share. And comment.

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The Coalition Government Colouring and Activity Book is now available for download as a PDF and in print:

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