(satire?)
One of England and Wales’s highest profile teddy bears is to chair the public inquiry into historic child abuse, the home secretary, Theresa May, announced today.
Pudsey Bear CBE – who wears a triangular muliti-coloured spotted bandana tied over one eye – will temporarily step down from his role as the mascot that fronts the BBC’s Children in Need appeal to head the investigation.
As a yellow teddy bear with a circular head and semi-circular ears, Pudsey is thought to be well-qualified to oversee the independent investigation into the extent to which public bodies and other important institutions have taken seriously their duty of care to protect children from sexual abuse.
The Home Office is hoping the appointment of Pudsey will also address public concern over successive failings by government and official institutions to investigate allegations of organised and persistent child sex abuse by VIPs both historical and more recent.
Pudsey will be assisted by US experts Yogi and Boo Boo – specialists on stealing picnic baskets – as well as Pooh Bear OBE, who will serve as counsel to the inquiry, the Home Office said.
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In a non statutory panel inquiry you do not need chairperson such as a judge eg Lord Leveson but if the inquiry become statutory the lawyers take control and the panel members could be sidelined as they were in leveson so I will settle for the bear than that
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Reblogged this on idontbelieveitagain.
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In a bold new development to enable objectivity and expediency of public inquiries, the Pudsey Inquiry will be sponsored by Wickes and B&Q. They have promised to provide unlimited supplies of paint.
A government spokesman denied that this is a means of profiting from the abuse of children, but he was able to confirm that the colour of the paint has already been chosen…
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Reblogged this on Britain Isn't Eating and commented:
I’m not happy about this at all.
The Home Office refuse to explain what sort of remuneration package he’ll be offered, and I’d hate to think it would be less than was offered Fiona Woolf for her “non starting” role these past few months.
Whilst there is a vast difference in experience between the two, what I dont want to see is Pudsey being discriminated against for A) being a bear and B) being seen as “disabled” in some way because he happens to have limited sight.
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Latest statement from Ed Miliband – “Pudsey is a highly credible chair of this inquiry. I strongly resent any media accusations of similarity with a brainless puppet consisting of nothing more than fabric and fluff… or plasticine for that matter.”
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The problem with your suggested line-up is the newspaper will be full of “Bear Faced Liars on Inquiry” or “Will This Inquiry Get To The Bear Facts”.
Having said that, why do we need a lawyer as the chair? Why don’t we just get a normal person off the street, give them a full background check and let them chair the inquiry. After all, all the chair needs to do is ensure a balanced argument, and if they think the “Pro” side gets too much time, the “Con” side gets more time.
After all, a Court Martial is made up of non-legal members with legal advice that steps out during deliberation.
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