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A repentant Mike Read has apologised to racists across the country for ‘unintentionally causing offence’ by linking them to his appallingly dire Calypso song.

The ex-Radio 1 DJ has asked for the song to be withdrawn from sale following hundreds of complaints from racists that the astoundingly atrocious ditty he sang in praise of Nigel Farage and UKIP was a load of shite.

One prominent racist explained the reason for the outrage:

For centuries racism has been associated with music such as the sinister nationalism of Wagner or the dark primordial decadence of Strauss. And in more recent times, fascism and extreme intolerance towards our fellow man has been admirably represented by the energetic hatred and grinding violence of skinhead bands like Screwdriver.
But now today – thanks to Mike Read – the sound of far-right bigotry has been reduced to a crap ageing 1980s former radio 1 DJ in a pair of shite sunglasses singing a load of embarrassing bollocks in a rubbish Caribbean accent.

The controversy comes just days after the Home Secretary Theresa May – in a bid to outflank UKIP – promised tough new laws to deport Justin Bieber and other foreign pop stars who commit serious crimes against music.


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