(satire?)

DAILY MAIL EXCLUSIVE!

Labour leader Ed Milband’s father Ralph Milband put a live puppy in a sandwich and ATE it, a former neighbour of the family claimed yesterday.

Former leggy model Sue Meifudare told Mail reporter Geoffrey Levy: “I was sickened and horrified. He killed my pet.”

“It’s something I’ll never forget. He went into my kitchen, put my cute puppy between two pieces of bread and started eating it.”

“At first I thought he seemed quite nice for a Jewish communist eastern European immigrant who hates Britain. But very quickly I realised how utterly evil he was. Ed Miliband should be ashamed of himself. I would never vote for anyone whose father eats puppies.”

A spokesperson for Mr Miliband however strongly denied Labour was advocating a policy of allowing eastern European immigrants the right to devour British pets if the party wins the next election in 2015:

“The Labour Party believes pets of any kind should be protected and given all the support they need regardless of who they are or where they are from. On the other hand, children of parents who are struggling to make ends meet can go f*ck themselves,” he said.

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