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(satire?)
The US has stepped up its war against the radical home furnishings group, IKEA, launching air strikes on targets in its retail division for the first time.
The Pentagon press secretary, rear admiral John Kirby, confirmed that the US and allied nations sent fighter jets, bomber aircraft and Tomahawk missiles in an operation against IKEA stores and depots that he described as “ongoing”.
Tensions have been increasing between the west and the retailing conglomerate since shocking reports of the Swedish home products company brutal treatment of home furnishings were exposed.
In a speech, President Obama accused the organisation of being a threat to western interests, with an aggressive expansionist plan by the furniture giant to create a pine furnishings caliphate in which all furnishings will be forced to conform to its extremist brand of light-coloured, bland wooden furniture
IKEA leaders have responded with videos and photographs of horrific displays of rooms decorated with cheap self-assembly furnishings and threatened a massive retaliation of flat-pack pine products on any country supporting military action against it.
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I should bloomin’ well think so! I HATE IKEA!!!!!
Robert Chinnery
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There is a rumour that Ikea are in under the table talks with the Claus Ohlson brigades with a view to forming a cabinet style coalition to take on the US. High St giant Poundland are believed to be financing thees talks.
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Well, I ordered a black leather couch from IKEA…… They sent me a bull, with full instructions on how to skin it…. 🙂
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Ha ha!
Now, that is my sort of humour!
Thanks tunefultony…..
(interesting name, will I be enlightened soon?)
A need face with a quizzical look….:(
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I meant to say…’I need a face with a quizzical look!’
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I think I got there first :
http://ukcommentators.blogspot.co.uk/2004/01/tipton-taleban.html
“All US bombing has been suspended, following the tragic incident when a coach-load of pensioners from Kidderminster were killed by a B52 strike on the Merry Hill Centre, mistakenly called in after a Debenhams Tannoy announcement that ‘Bed Linen is on the Second Floor’ was intercepted by SIGINT specialists at Menwith Hill.”
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what about kenny everett in drag?
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Reblogged this on Lenathehyena's Blog and commented:
Standing, or rather sitting on my Poang chair. in solidarity with Ikea
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Osama Bin Laban scion: This BlogSpot is funny, although somewhat far-fetched… it may chime with, or appeal to, some residents in the Black Country, where I lived for a while, near Walsall….
Of course the article is quite right to say that it’s all because of the pork scratchings (a most degenerate un-Islamic tasty snack) and the faggots….. Islam comes down extremely hard on the bare necks of these degenerate homosexuals, who have no shame and refuse to convert to Islam, therefore must pay the ultimate penalty for their filthy degeneracy…..🙂
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