(satire?)
David Cameron has declared U2’s new album “Songs of Innocence” will be made available to every Scottish citizen for free download after Scotland voted by a 10.6-point margin against ending the 307-year-old union with England and Wales.
The prime minister also promised a devolution musical revolution, including automatic free downloads of Gary Barlow songs and assorted Cliff Richard medleys on every mobile phone in Scotland as he hailed Scottish voters’ decision to remain inside the UK.
“There can be no disputes – we have heard the settled will of the Scottish people, and we are responding at once by ensuring Scotland will be able to get exclusive access to Bob Geldof’s next album, either as a digital download or on DVD,” Cameron pledged in a statement outside No 10 Downing Street shortly after 7am on Friday.
Sterling jumped and the FTSE 100 opened 44 points higher, reaching a new two-year high against the euro in Asian trading hours, after Susan Boyle revealed she would also be releasing a new single in celebration of the no vote.
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Please feel free to comment.
There was always going to be a ‘downside’ to a “No” vote. The prospect of a new Susan Boyle single is no more than the rest of the so-called UK deserves.
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Ooooh….guy fawkes will be pleased…so too OBD and of course my man FF 🙂
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There is no such thing as devolved power, they only thing Westminster want to devolve is their debts, real power you have to take not wait for it to be given to you in the form of crumbs.
Regional government is worse than central government, they have been taught well by their masters.
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Susan Boyle should hang her head in shame … because she is a Scot, and she would sell more records if her production had multi-tracked bagpipes on the backing track. As for Bono, he is definitely not the Messiah…. he is just a very naughty Celtic c**t 🙂
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Peter
I laughed my socks off! Disappointed with the Bob Geldof No too!
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