(satire?)
God tells BBC radio interviewer there are moments when he doubts the existence of Justin Welby
God has admitted to having doubts about the existence of the Archbishop of Canterbury and disclosed that on a recent morning jog with his dog he questioned how the head of the Anglican Church could possibly be an Eton educated former oil executive from Ruislip.
In a light-hearted but personal interview in front of hundreds of people in Bristol cathedral last weekend, God said:
“There are moments, sure, where I think ‘how the f*ck am I expected to believe the head of the Anglican church is against pay day lenders like Wonga when the Church of England’s pension fund has invested in it‘? I just don’t buy it. Would you?”
The dramatic revelations come just months after the Church of England General Synod rejected gay marriage, pointing out that grim, unhappy marriages were a traditional cornerstone of English family life.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
Church of England says no to women bishops, knights and rooks
Conservative Party Split Over Tame-Sex Marriage
Church of England accused of homophonaphobia
New Church of England rules – pawns can be promoted to bishops but not queens
‘Militant testicularisation’ taking hold in British society, says Lady Warsi
Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’. Really.
David Cameron is Jesus. Probably.
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Please feel free to comment. And share. Thanks:
DwayneDwoo said:
I will only believe that this conversation really took place if a recording of the BBC interview is released for the public to judge…. other than that, im just not avin it, because there is no way that god would talk to anyone from the BBC.
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FinkFurst said:
…but some BBC executives and employees think they ARE gods!
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Jeffrey Davies said:
whislt you laugh joke at this man jr Justin Welby a few have emailed this one jokes aside asking him whot he was doing about this tory lot he got up to speak in that house of and spoke a little on about whot they were doing to his flock loe and behold he got up off his seat the following day tp appolagise whot he had sais ops
yet i ask is your table full while your flock empty are you not using that staff to ward off the wolfs from your flock nah cowbes cover his staff and supping with old nick seems to be clouding his judgement jeff3
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FinkFurst said:
How can you not laugh a someone who questions the entire belief system of all the people who pay his salary and expenses?
P.S. . , . . . , . , . . . , , . (insert above as appropriate)
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penniewoodfall said:
FF
Ya gonna have to help me on this one…..Oi’ve bin up ‘alf the nite! 😦
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FinkFurst said:
So have I. I don’t normally have espresso for breakfast, but today it was necessary. What’s your question?
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peter said:
In the overnight floodlit International Match Tie, the final score (after penalties, bonuses and sweeteners had been awarded by the referee) was: England: 2 million :: Scotland: 26 zillion 🙂 [The result was later found to have been fiddled on appeal]
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penniewoodfall said:
It’s the dots FF…..and the p.s…….:(
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FinkFurst said:
I thought Mr Davies must have run out of full stops and commas, so I gave him a few more.
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peter said:
Mr Davies didn’t use any full stops or commas, he used words that are not even in the dictionary, and overall none of what he wrote is intelligible or coherent…. Do you think he might be from the Scootissh Highlands??
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peter said:
I have to agree with GOD on this matter…. I too disbelieve in the Archbishop of Canterbury; however I am fully persuaded that the Archbishop of York is for real.
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FinkFurst said:
Peter – You’re on dangerous ground there! Quite a few people posting on here live in Scotland, and I’m one of them.
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Jeffrey Davies said:
if one suffered blackouts which inturn brain affected by it have lost all but so even thou i cant anymore do proper english i try or welsh or computer programing all lost but never mind hay il go lookingg for that full stop jeffrey
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peter said:
Don’t worry matey all you need is love sod the full stops commas and all the other punctilious forms of punctuation all you need is love anyways Bob Geldof Joan Rivers Robin Williams et all have never concerned themselves with arresting their speech with any speech marks you just keep right on going until you reach the cliffs…****!!!!!! 🙂 ::: (Oops I slipped up at the end there)
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Jeffrey Davies said:
just be carefull with all your help it might come back to bit one i manage without thanks
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