Tags
(satire?)
The Prime Minister David Cameron is under medical supervision after doctors confirmed he was suffering from a severe form of heart-in-mouth syndrome on the day of the Scottish referendum.
Symptoms of heart-in-mouth syndrome include:
- cold sweats
- rapid breathing
- outbreaks of goose bumps
- clammy palms
- pounding heart
- eyes wide open
- flared nostrils
- furrowed eyebrows
- hair standing on end
- chills down spine
- loose bowels
Mr Cameron’s health scare comes just days after medical experts revealed many members of the Conservative Party are suffering from a particularly nasty and chronic strain of foot-in-mouth virus which is resistant to any known form of treatment.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
BBC reporter caught red-handed manipulating video in Scottish indy campaign
Famous Scottish tennis player says YES to independence
Queen’s radical plan for voters to think before voting ruled ‘unconstitutional’
Blair urges air strikes against Scotland in event of ‘Yes’ vote
Experts warn of zombie apocalypse in event of ‘Yes’ vote for Scottish independence
SHOCK as new poll shows 3 out of 5 world dictators say NO to Scottish independence
George Galloway: BBC Scotland has banned me from indy debate
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Please feel free to comment. And share. Thanks:
overburdenddonkey said:
we wait!
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david said:
while hopefully Scotland endures one of the biggest orgasms of recent times (yes oh yes oh yes yes yes oh YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS) tonight. Poor ole dave will be like ‘not tonight I’ve got a headache’
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david said:
but Tom surely the medical terminology is wrong??? To have heart in mouth he’d have to have a heart, or was he eating a baby?
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overburdenddonkey said:
@andy_murray 🙂
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jaynel62 said:
Good – Give him a taste of our ‘Brown Envelope Syndrome’!
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FinkFurst said:
I wonder if Cameron has already written his resignation speech?
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overburdenddonkey said:
http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/sep/18/andy-murray-on-scottish-independence-vote-lets-do-this
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FinkFurst said:
If we need advice about tennis then Andy’s the man, but about anything else……?
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overburdenddonkey said:
http://www.theguardian.com/politics/live/2014/sep/18/scottish-independence-referendum-polling-day-live
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overburdenddonkey said:
it is important to note that it is the power and passion of the YES campaign that has shaken the very foundations of the establishment…if you want REAL POWERS for change…there is only one way to vote and that is YES… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_w1bbXIemFY
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FinkFurst said:
I think the fundamental question is whether government and politics is about society or about self-interest. I think the people of Scotland understand that. The majority in England and Westminster apparently do not.
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braithsally said:
Cameron’s always going on about business, but he hasn’t thought about business continuity.
http://www.cambridge-risk.com/2014/scottish-independence-and-the-affect-on-corporate-interests/
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penniewoodfall said:
To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.
Oscar Wilde said that apparently…..
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penniewoodfall said:
‘you must have chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star’
F.Nietzsche
So plenty of stars tonight? OBD
I’ll raise a dram of single malt to your passion. 🙂
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FinkFurst said:
I hadn’t heard that one before, and there is considerable truth in it.
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overburdenddonkey said:
pennie
it is a symptom of sanity, not the cause of it… 🙂
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overburdenddonkey said:
pennie
watchtower, hendrix 🙂
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guy fawkes said:
” I hadn’t heard that one before, and there is considerable truth in it” says Fink.
Well he would agree with Oscar and is probably why we ended up with a government that was never elected.
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peter said:
I wonder if it’s significant that Alex Salmond’s hobby is gambling on the gee-gees and his wife Moira’s hobby is breeding ducks?? ..Just wondering, ya’know……Did Friedrich Nietzsche say anything about THAT…??
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guy fawkes said:
Peter
Probably not, but I bet Bet Fred did!
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overburdenddonkey said:
just seen a twitter trend map….biggest no coming from london.. and can’t hardly see see red naws from blue ayes in scotland…turnout said to be very high already…people kissing ballot papers…
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FinkFurst said:
Errr… what are you claiming is the reason “we ended up with a government that was never elected”?
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overburdenddonkey said:
special news bulletin (satire?)
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nedhamson said:
Reblogged this on Ned Hamson Second Line View of the News and commented:
Pickled?
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guy fawkes said:
Well approx 3 quarters never voted for it . so the quarter that did must be sane according to Mr Wilde and the other 3 quarters insane.
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overburdenddonkey said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DxEOGzfgRw live feed glasgow..
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guy fawkes said:
What I don’t understand is that most of the scottish flags are predominantly red, yet the indys chose to fly the St. Andrew blue flag.
I have had to wear blue today in the hope of a yes victory.
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FinkFurst said:
Even if the saying was literally true, a sane person disagreeing with someone doesn’t make that person insane. I doubt that you can follow that, but never mind.
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guy fawkes said:
If that is the case then they all could be sane and Oscar’s pearls of wisdom is null and void.
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guy fawkes said:
On the other hand they all could be insane, including Oscar.
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overburdenddonkey said:
canadian referendum experts are CONFIDENT the result will be @ least 55% in favour of YES…
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overburdenddonkey said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWTBOH7hZow New Media For A New Scotland: The Documentary
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FinkFurst said:
Oh dear – Obviously the concept of being sane but wrong completely escaped you, but apparently the idea of being insane and wrong is very familiar!
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eviltorypervert said:
its time those Scottish plebs knew there place.
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FinkFurst said:
You don’t have to reply to me (just pretend somebody else asked), but could you post the link?
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guy fawkes said:
Well he is certainly not much of a ‘braveheart’ that’s for sure.
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guy fawkes said:
If that is the case, what has disagreement got to do with sanity? Why bring sanity into it at all if you are not going to equate it with any differentation or opposite?
How is disagreeing with 3 quarters of the British public a requisite of sanity?
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guy fawkes said:
eviltorypervert
Where would that be? Your place? 🙂
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guy fawkes said:
obd
link it on the void and then FF can complain to Johnny about his followers at the same time.
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penniewoodfall said:
Do you realize F.F that guy fawkes is your karma……hahahahah! 🙂
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FinkFurst said:
I don’t read Johnny Void’s site. There are so many nutters on there that it’s next to impossible to find any sensible opinions at all, and to call the range of subjects raised by Mr Void minimal would be a massive understatement. There are one or two nutters on this site too, but the difference between the two sites is huge.
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penniewoodfall said:
Oh dear F.F has it got to this?
You can be so endearing …sometimes 🙂
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FinkFurst said:
Ms Fawkes – You’re obviously struggling with rational thought, so try this…… Is it possible for somebody who is unable to think rationally to disagree with somebody else?
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FinkFurst said:
No Pennie, she isn’t.
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overburdenddonkey said:
from WoS “IPSOS MORI confirm that their opinion polls are no longer valid if turnout in Scotland hits 80% I suspect these extra voters will go for Yes” https://twitter.com/t_traynor1/status/512601200110604288/photo/1
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overburdenddonkey said:
p s source of the above tweet is, Diarmuid Scully Candidate Phd Researcher in Politics and former Mayor of Limerick
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FinkFurst said:
Yes Pennie, it has. OBD takes things a little too much ‘to heart’, but he’ll talk to me again eventually……
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overburdenddonkey said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AM4mIlYKG9s
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guy fawkes said:
FF
Is it possible for somebody who is unable to think rationally to disagree with somebody else?
I think you had better ask Oscar Wilde that one as it may just apply to him and probably you too if you are in agreement with his ‘ requisite for sanity’.
Personally I’m from the school of Marx thinkers both Karl and Groucho, a great team!
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guy fawkes said:
Pennie
Who is Karma, it’s not her that sings with the fruit on her head is it ?
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guy fawkes said:
FF
If this site didn’t have the nutters commenting it would be like a puppet show with the rest!
Go on sock it to me.
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overburdenddonkey said:
there are reports of some polling stations achieving 100% turnout, but they must remain open by law until 10pm…
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overburdenddonkey said:
i think compared to the welsh national anthem i posted above we need to get our tenners in order, CU will help, but it’s ok…see what you think? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vkYiCdn834
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FinkFurst said:
Well done Ms Fawkes – You answered the question perfectly!
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guy fawkes said:
Fink, I don’t know how you dare accuse obd of being over sensitive. I love the banter with gay men, but you certainly seem to be an exception, you are so touchy.
I fancy the pants of Josh Henderson, if only I was 30 years younger and male!
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FinkFurst said:
You’re STILL desperate to label me as gay. As the rabid homophobic that you are, why might that be……?
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guy fawkes said:
It might have something to do with the fact that you jump on their bandwagon at every opportunity.
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FinkFurst said:
HA HA HA HA!!! You are such an extreme and moronic homophobe that you think agreeing with something Oscar Wilde said makes you gay!!!!
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guy fawkes said:
Have you ever seen the sitcom ‘vicious’, you would fit the bill if ever Ian Mc Kellen decided to leave.
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FinkFurst said:
Yes I saw part of one episode, it was complete and utter crap. No doubt you thought it was good because it played to your preconceived stereotypes.
P.S. I’ll let you into a secret which seems to go over the head of moronic homophobic bigots like you… an actor doesn’t need to have the same sexuality as the character they are playing.
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guy fawkes said:
only a real gay would know the non-preconceived sterotypes!
I’ll let you into another secret, Ian Mc Kellen is not Gay 🙂
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FinkFurst said:
“I’ll let you into another secret, Ian Mc Kellen is not Gay”
Of course he isn’t! How can you possibly admire a great actor if you believe that he has a depraved and immoral private life?
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guy fawkes said:
Well with the amount of gays that dominate tv and theatre, I would be lost for entertainment if I didn’t peruse their talents once in a while.
See I can be nice!
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guy fawkes said:
By the way Ian Mc Kellen is gay you pillock!
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