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(satire?)

The current VIP paedophile crisis in Westminster is a “long-term problem which can only be solved by the use of military action,” former British Prime Minister Tony Blair has said today.

Blair – who was prime minister during the invasion of Iraq – also said ground troops should be employed as part of a wider military operation against high level paedophile rings in parliament if necessary.

If we ever hope to root out this problem. we should start with drone strikes, followed by a sustained NATO bombing campaign,” Blair said, discussing the deteriorating political situation throughout the country in an interview aired Sunday on NBC. “Then we should send in a ground invasion force by sea, air and land and bomb the paedophile allegations into submission.

The former Labour prime minister’s intervention in the crisis comes not long after the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions Mr Iain Duncan Smith accused the previous Labour administration of “parking” the alllegations at taxpayers’ expense and suggested accusations of child abuse by senior politicians should be dealt with by taking away their benefits and starving them to death.

However, London Mayor Boris Johnson said he was lobbying the Home Secretary Theresa May to allow allegations that a top level paedophile ring has been operating for decades at the heart of government to be dealt with by soaking them to the skin at close range using one of his newly-bought second-hand water cannons.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

Danger of sewage hitting air conditioning unit delays Westminster VIP paedophile probe

Meet the man Leon Brittan handed the lost VIP paedophile dossier to

Google searches for ‘Leon Brittan’ and ‘PIE’ censored after Cease and Desist notice

How MI5 vetted Savile. And decided paedophilia was nothing to worry about.

High level child abuse cover-up? Why has Theresa May barred a US journalist from the UK?

The truth about the Tory Party’s cover up of its links to paedophilia

Cock-up, cover-up or conspiracy in the North Wales child abuse scandal? You decide.

Child abuse scandal can of worms – just who is Daily Mail reporter David Rose?

Jimmy Savile, West Yorkshire Police and the Friday Morning Club

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