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An official investigation into a political cover-up of child abuse by senior politicians in the 1980s has been delayed indefinitely after experts warned there was a danger of raw sewage coming into contact with the fan system belonging to an air conditioning unit in the Houses of Parliament.

Government ministers are reluctant to give in to demands for a public inquiry into alleged VIP paedophile activity after fears that Westminster could become engulfed in a deep quagmire of foul-smelling effluent if the probe goes ahead.

Experts say the ancient infrastructure of the sewage system at Westminster – which for centuries has held back large amounts of excrement from coming into contact with leading MPs – is in danger of collapse if the Home Secretary Theresa May agrees to explain how the Home Office lost or destroyed more than 100 files related to accusations of organised paedophilia at Westminster.

However, authorities have assured the public that emergency supplies of sterile white liquid wash are already being stockpiled at Westminster should there be a danger of any excrement hitting the cooling fans and coming into contact with anyone important.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

Meet the man Leon Brittan handed the lost VIP paedophile dossier to

Google searches for ‘Leon Brittan’ and ‘PIE’ censored after Cease and Desist notice

How MI5 vetted Savile. And decided paedophilia was nothing to worry about.

High level child abuse cover-up? Why has Theresa May barred a US journalist from the UK?

The truth about the Tory Party’s cover up of its links to paedophilia

Cock-up, cover-up or conspiracy in the North Wales child abuse scandal? You decide.

Child abuse scandal can of worms – just who is Daily Mail reporter David Rose?

Jimmy Savile, West Yorkshire Police and the Friday Morning Club

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