(satire?)
Militant extremists from Department for Education in shocking plot to take over UK schools
An alleged plot to take over some schools in the UK and make them adhere to more fundamentalist principles espoused by the radical hard-line zealot Michael Gove is being investigated, it has emerged.
The National Association of Head Teachers said it had received some anonymous letters in February which claimed that a shadowy extremist Conservative group known as the ‘DfE‘ (Department for Education) was trying to take over UK schools and engineer the sacking of head teachers who did not promote the hard-line radical organisation’s fundamentalist ideals.
A spokesperson for the Home Office said the Home Secretary Theresa May was working night and day and doing everything in her power to eradicate the threat from militant supporters of Gove and was actively exploring ways to deport the head of the ‘DfE’ from the cabinet to prevent him becoming leader of the Conservative Party before she does.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
Michael Gove: too much thinking still prevails in UK schools
Theresa May Announces Critical Thinking To Become Class C Drug
How The Gove Stole Summer (with apologies to Dr. Suess)
Gove announces plan to phase out teaching in schools
EXCLUSIVE – leaked sample questions from Michael Gove’s new GCSE Mathematics examination
BBFC – Michael Gove ‘too scary’ for under-12s
History ‘student’ who wrote in support of Michael Gove is really a Tory PR executive
Act Of Gove: an event beyond human control – often of a destructive nature – for which there is no legal redress
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beastrabban said:
Reblogged this on Beastrabban’s Weblog and commented:
Actually, not so far from the truth. The ‘I’ newspaper last week criticised Gove’s and May’s handling of the Muslim schools controversy with the statement that they probably weren’t the best ministers for the job, as they had their own, hard-line ideological motivations for secularising the schools in question. As for Gove’s own attitude to state education in general, it’s based on a fanatical belief in privatisation, a conviction that can only be described as absurd, irrational and dangerous.
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sdbast said:
Reblogged this on sdbast.
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Brian said:
Abolishing the 1944 Education Act and so privatising every school in the UK would be a sensible next step.
Every school sets an entrance exam, charges fees, awards scholarships, pays what it wants, builds what it wants, teaches what it wants, when it wants, how it wants.
Results are published and the schools are inspected regularly. Parents can visit at any time and see what’s going on.
Parents can take out ‘soft’ loans to pay for their children’s education costs – which would all be tax-deductible, and education vouchers would mean every school in the land had a tax-payer funded subsidy.
There would be no LEAs, no DFES, no State involvement.
Just schools providing the nation’s employers with well-educated, honest, reliable workers, with parents make choices (good and bad) just as they do about food, power, homes, jobs, holidays, cars, insurance, etc etc etc.
Why oh why does anyone think someone in Whitehall or county Hall (on £50-250k salary) has a better idea of what’s best for YOUR child/ren than YOU?
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Mike Sivier said:
Reblogged this on Vox Political.
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Jonathan Wilson said:
Excellent satirical comment sir, I doff my hat to you.
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Mervyn Hyde (@mjh0421) said:
Brian:
Ask those Heads of schools that were forced to become academies and are now looking for sponsors because their sponsors up and left without so much as a by your leave, or those schools that see their funding provision fall and have to go without expertise; that was freely available in their local authorities, which are now gone.
Simplistic solutions look good on the surface but modern day needs are far more complicated than you presume.
Loved the Blog today though.
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Brian said:
Private schools cope.
Your points merely prove that State school Head are incompetent at managing a commercial business (Academy sponsors’ contracts should have tied them in for a fixed time-frame with horrendous get-out clauses).
It also suggests that the end-product of the schools were not good enough to meet the sponsoring company’s needs….
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Brian said:
No satire: just reality.
I sponsor two (now 4) girls in Honduras to pay for their education to 16, because it is highly valued there and their family earn $1 a day (approx).
Make every parent in the UK pay for their child’s education and you’ll see parents taking an interest in what happens from 8-6, rather than having no interest in what happens from 9-3(!).
Since local taxes would then be cut to 25% of current levels and Personal Allowance might go up to the 1960’s levels (that £58,000 pa for married couple)….
Paying a heavily subsidised £3k pa for your child’s education suddenly seems quite cheap – particularly as with a little support they might win a 100% scholarship (arts, music, sports, leadership – not just academic, remember) – and you’d then pay nothing at all….
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Blah, blah said:
So Brian, you think it’s justifiable, that some guy from another country pays for (for arguments sake) my child’s education, because I can’t afford to, because (arguments sake) I’m disabled, off work with illness, become a lone parent with limited hours that I am able to work etc etc…at what age does the child ‘need’ to take an entrance exam, and at what point/age would you wish for private education to start.
To be truthful, you’ve got your head so far up your arse, the soles of your shiney shoes are barely visible….narrow minded tosspot 🙂
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Steve Crawley said:
What I find totally typical of this government is that those ‘responsible’ – namely May and Gove- paid handsomely from our taxes for their trouble are still in their jobs whilst some poor old SpAD gets the sack!! Contemptible behaviour by the tory party again who can’t accept responsibility for anything
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jaypot2012 said:
Reblogged this on Jay's Journal and commented:
There was nothing wrong with the local junior school or the comprehensive that I went to. You chose to leave at 16, (if you had parents like mine you had to leave school and work), or you stayed on to take ‘A’ levels and then to college.
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Brian said:
EVERY school charges fees (under my system), setting their level at that which their customers are willing to pay.
M&S and Lidl both sell food and both make handsome profits, because both supply what their market-segments’ customers want.
99% of your life is supplied by private firms, and the 1% that isn’t (NHS time – not drugs, equipment and buildings; roads, schools, bin collection, pensions, Soc Ser; new homes) is utterly dire in quality and quantity, *because the State (ANY State) invariably rations what it supplies, as ‘free’ goods and services can never be available in sufficient quantity to meet demand (economics 101).
And since, by definition these days, you go into politics ONLY because you’re too inadequate to make a good living elsewhere and to run a profitable business (and the CS staffers are much, much worse than you are) then it’s hardly surprising that their ‘businesses’ (ie State services) are bloody awful.
There IS a solution 9and there always has been).
Stop trying to act like Canute – imposing Marxism/socialism’s ‘one size fits all’ policies on us and support and encourage true free-market Darwinism.
We’d have truly minimal taxes (1960’s a married couple could earn £58k (eq) before they paid a penny in income tax) and make 99% of our own choices, with our own money and time.
And we’d need 1% of State employees and we’d all be vastly better off in consequence.
[Those on benefits would get soft loans to pay for their children’s education.
There’s a strong case, obviously, that those on benefits FIRST should not have children, this being only available fro those who fall on hard times AFTER they have a family.
FIRST earn the money, THEN have the family.
Doubtless you’d disagree, but you’re always wrong, so….]
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nedhamson said:
Reblogged this on Ned Hamson Second Line View of the News and commented:
goofs
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overburdenddonkey said:
brian
what you propose, is precisely the system that sucks wealth from a/the local economy, creates; debt/credit driven economy (bubbles, and profit taking, collapses of the banking system, where the poor are compelled to buy its debt), unemployment and inflicts gross hardships on people….profit maximization one way investment schemes,where more is paid for less and less, is asset stripping..
customers get really pissed off paying for things many times over….we already own and pay for, a free at point of delivery…compulsory…state school system for our children…it all came about because education was previously market driven, and millions were left without the benefits of an education…i support the common weal….schools are being set up to fail, to encourage privatization…so that wealth can be sucked out of our common weal..you advocate survival of the fittest…something that darwin never actually advocated btw..it is actually survival of the fitting, fitting in harmony with nature, where love, compassion, and empathy, caring, nurturing, etc that HAS ensured our survival for a million years + of humanity, until our world become very selfish grasping and ugly…skara brea…
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Blah, blah said:
Brian your tripping, there really is more to life than money, honest, take a look around…you have a very wanky outlook, are you right wing by any chance haha..
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Brian said:
Marxism/socialism invariably loses out to Darwinism.
It’s done so fro 4.5 billion years.
Only complete fools and politicians believe that, Canute-like, they can halt diversity, competition, selection and evolution, by imposing a ‘designed’ one-size-fits-all solution.
They’re deluded egotists and I look forward to the day when our politicians have some scientific training and so champion Darwinism, not seek to impose socialism and ‘central planning’ in a facile failure of intellect: 65 million people making decisions about what’s best for them (and their family) will always beat 650/65/1 people imposing their idea of a single ideal solution on 65 million of US.
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Blah, blah said:
Brian you’ve missed your slot for scientific experiments with regards to ‘humans’, I think you would have been more suited in Germany1939-1945…idealism…no more from me, as I think your suffering from mental illness (as do most right wing bigots)…
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