(satire?)
After the party’s stunning successes in the local elections, the United Kingdom Independence Party has vowed to forcibly take back control of fixing potholes from Brussels and ensure Britain’s bins will be emptied without interference from the bureaucratic tyranny of European Directives.
UKIP’s announcements come after the party also pledged to ensure more restrictions on the number of immigrants allowed to use playground facilities such as swings and slides in public parks along with a concrete pledge to ban access to climbing frames and roundabouts for more recent European Union arrivals including Romanians and Bulgarians.
And in an uncompromising and triumphant interview with the BBC, party leader Nigel Farage promised to cause a political “earthquake” by ensuring dog poop would be removed from pavements without hindrance from unelected European bureaucrats.
In response to the success of UKIP, local Conservative Party leaders have promised to listen more to the concerns of voters and announced that their councillors would from now on fight tooth and nail to ensure herbaceous borders were properly secured from invasion by foreign plants along pathways in parks and town centres.
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sdbast said:
Reblogged this on sdbast.
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Mike Sivier said:
Reblogged this on Vox Political and commented:
You can picture the debates among UKIP members now, can’t you?
“I’m sure that many members are more than happy to see UKIP stand on dog poop – but this stuff about fixing potholes and emptying bins sounds dangerously like a lot of bolshie communism to me!”
“[Bleating from other members.]”
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beastrabban said:
Reblogged this on Beastrabban’s Weblog and commented:
The trouble is, I can honestly see some UKIP supporters really believing that there is indeed a dire EU threat to destroy the traditional British garden and replace the Chelsea Flower Show with an EU-mandated version centring around mutant Brussels sprouts.
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jess said:
Perhaps the newly elected UKIP Councillors will demand that spuds and tomatoes are sent back to ‘their countries of origin’, along with such ‘foreign foods’ as ‘Saveloy and chips’
Since; “The word [saveloy] is believed to originate from the Swiss-French cervelas or servelat, ultimately from the Latin cerebrus; originally a pig brain sausage particularly associated with Switzerland”
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saveloy]
Dealers in such ‘forren objects’ will be targets of ‘sanctions’ by, er Ian Duncan Smith’s hounds?
And ukip Councillors must insist that all ‘fish’ served with ‘traditional british fish an’ chips’ be certified as being born in ‘British Territorial Waters’ and are caught by a ‘non-halal’ fleet proudly displaying the ‘red duster’.
I also look forward to their campaign to ensure that only; ‘ruby’s’ cooked to a brummagem recipe are acceptable as ‘Balti’s’ across the European Union.
Get ‘stuck in, Nigel’,
Bat for Britain, with;
‘Batty of Britain!’
As your moniker!
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jonnyopinion said:
Reblogged this on The OPINION.
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jaypot2012 said:
Reblogged this on Jay's Journal and commented:
Food? for thought…
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neurontherapy said:
.There’s foxes in the hen house
Cows out in the corn
The unions have been busted
Their proud red banners torn
To listen to the radio
You’d think that all was well
But you and me and Cisco know
It’s going straight to hell
.Read more: Steve Earle – Christmas In Washington Lyrics | MetroLyrics
Can’t get this song out of my head!
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Barry Davies said:
Maybe the newly elected councillors from UKIP will support the local populace when their hospitals are going to be closed, or just maybe your racist nonsense will be nothing what soever to do with UKIP but will come from the conlablibdum party, after all they are the ones that support the racist eussr.
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david pearce said:
to right I hate Brussels (brussel sprouts) bring back good ole British cabbage
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jess said:
“bring back good ole British cabbage”
The Savoy?
I’m afraid that they’re a europlot too!
“Many cabbage varieties—including some still commonly grown—were introduced in Germany, France, and the Low Countries.During the 16th century, German gardeners developed the savoy cabbage.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabbage
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david pearce said:
ffs Jess next you’ll be saying that historically there is no actual pure bred brit left alive. That we’re all a genetic mix of various origins
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jess said:
“no… pure bred brit left ”
Well, my local supermarket is full of baguettes, pain chocolate and even croissants!
How many plain english ‘cottage loaves’ do you see nowadays?
I took a stroll down the high street the other day and counted just two.
When I enquired where the wheat to make them ‘originated’ I was told ‘overseas’
No pure brit bred there!
There were ‘pasties’ though, which claimed to be from Kernow
( I suspected them to be of a more dubious origin, but when I rang my local council to query this, I was obliged to speak to a lady who gave every indication of not cleaning behind her fridge recently. She may have been wearing trousers too!)
Can you not see how the whole europlot ‘gardening’ scheme, dreamed up by the purveyors of your patriotically despised ‘brussels’ is undermining our ancient, albeit non-existent, constitution?
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peter said:
I was puzzled to see a colour photo of Roma (Romanian people) camping out in PARK LANE, of all places…. Park Lane is not far from Hyde Park and Buckingham Palace. British gypsies (travellers) would hardly have the brazen cheek to camp in such as well-to-do neighbourhood as Park Lane, so why don’t the London Police arrest these Roma and dump them somewhere less salubrious, say in Streatham or in Thornton Heath??
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