(satire?)
Can you solve these political equations?
David Cameron – Nick Clegg = 0
Ed Miliband x David Cameron = David Miliband
Alex Salmond³ – Scotland = Nigel Farage
Tuition Fees + (Nick Clegg x Pledge) = Tuition Fees²
Nick Clegg + Pledge = Pledge x 0
√ Nigel Farage = Enoch Powell
Tory Party ÷ Europe = Ed Miliband + Nr 10
Nigel Farage – Public School = Nick Griffin
Lib Dems – Nick Clegg ≥ Lib Dems + Nick Clegg
Nigel Farage – EU = 0
IDS ± Frog = Cock³
NHS x (David Cameron + Nick Clegg) = NHS x 0
Bankers + (Bonus³) = Recession³
Boris – Hair = Ken + (London Mayor x 2)
Chris Grayling = C*nt x ∞
.
Do you disagree with any of my calculations? Can you think of any other political equations? Please feel free to comment.
Darren Laverty (@darrenlavertyx) said:
Easy…..42
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Editor said:
Hey what harm have frogs done to us!
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Alex Allardyce said:
Tory Party ( Banks + CBI ) = Fraud
Fraud ( Banks + CBI ) = Wealth
Wealth ( Banks + CBI ) = Poverty
Poverty ( DWP + You ) = Slavery
Slavery ( DWP + You ) = Revolution
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Barry Davies said:
Labour leader (ed v Dave) = fratricide
labour (health policy + coalition) = privatisation
labour eu policy (do as we are told) = UK becomes state of europe
labour welfare policy (no idea and who cares about the disabled) = stick with the tories ideas.
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Mike Sivier said:
Reblogged this on Vox Political and commented:
I’ve had a look at these and I think they’re right.
Would any mathematicians like to add any equations of their own?
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sdbast said:
Reblogged this on sdbast.
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nuggy said:
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David Lindley said:
There is one notable error:
Nigel Farage – EU = 0
If one adds EU to both sides, one gets
Nigel Farage = EU
… which is plainly absurd !
However, Nigel Farage + EU = EU seems to be true because, if one subtracts EU from both sides, the result is
Nigel Farage = 0
QED
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jess said:
For real ‘political satire’ have a look at this
http://sharethefacts.conservatives.com/?SearchType=NewsAuthor&SearchTerm=e13c8b46-fe2e-47fb-8efd-ff04f9d95f2e
Some poor deluded souls may even think is is meant seriously!
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Johannah Buchan said:
How dare you compare.Alex Salmond with Farage! You have obviously no knowledge of Scotland or it’s politics. Mind you as a Scot living in Manchester & sadly thus without a vote I actually LOVE the way the establishment slag us off. Every time someone like you says something like that we get another few 100 votes for independence. Scotland will then have a natural socialist govt & leave rUK behind. Maybe that’ll be the spur for England to rise up. So how about:-
Scotland+Independence=example for rUK
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Tom Pride said:
Yep. Seems logical to me.
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Johannah Buchan said:
I just tried to respond. Got”already said that”message. But I hadn’t. Are you censoring criticism? I did complain about 1equation.
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gary glitter said:
is this the alex salmond that’s in bed with repurt Murdoch i think theirs a fair comparsion
the nats views on human rights are almost exactly the same as ukips.
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nuggy said:
was that satire.
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jess said:
“Nigel Farage – Public School = Nick Griffin”
Is demonstrably incorrect;
“Born in Barnet, Griffin was educated at Woodbridge School in Suffolk.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Griffin
“Woodbridge School is an independent school in Woodbridge, Suffolk, England, founded in 1577, for the poor of Woodbridge”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodbridge_School
Lets try it another way
“Mosley+Mail=Blackshirts
∝
Griffin+Star= BNP
∝
Farrage+ (Telegraph+Mail)= EU Expenses
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Johannah Buchan said:
My last comment should’vbe tjfinished:- another few 100 votes for Independence. Then Scotland will revert to normal voting patterns & have a socialist govt & leave the rUK behind. I hope this’ll be the stimulus needed for England to get rid of the neoliberal b****s! So how about:-
Scotland + Independence = Example to rUK.
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Tam Hunter said:
You sure this is satire, it is hard to tell nowadays.
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Tom Pride said:
Good point!
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Tom Pride said:
I never censor criticism. This is a free speech zone.
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Tom Pride said:
Well I didn’t write that Salmond = Farage. The equation actually says Salmond cubed minus Scotland equals Farage. Not the same thing at all.
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nuggy said:
the snp dont take criticism well do they something they certainly have in common with ukip
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peter said:
Alex Salmond looks like he has already been cubed… or maybe he has just been overgorging on the haggis & chips?? 🙂
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Johannah Buchan said:
Must’ve been a system hiccup maybe because my post then appeared in full. Sorry for the bother.
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lewis said:
hmm Jess surely that should read:
Mosley+Blackshirts= Mail
Conservatives+Lib Dems = Conservative
Parliament + morals = are you feckin kidding me
2015x tories x lib dems x labour = 1642
poverty+death+homelessness+repression = tory wet dream
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jess said:
I am content to be corrected
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The Infamous Culex said:
Nick Griffin + Martin “Sweety” Webster = 2 x notoriously homophobic arse bandits
Allegedly.
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The Infamous Culex said:
How about
Alex Salmond + integral 307 (Darien bailout) = debt that Scotland cannot pay back
In 1707, as part of the Treaty of Union, the Bank of England paid £398085 10s sterling into the Scottish economy which had been effectively bankrupted by the foolish Darien venture in Panama.
Considering the rates of inflation since 1707, the economic power value of that wealth would now be approximately £6,366,000,000.00 – and that does not include any bank interest. (http://www.measuringworth.com/ukcompare/)
If one calculates how much would now be due with a modest 5% compound interest – a mere “shilling in the pound” – one gets a total of £ 1,273,770,461,490.83.
Yes – nearly 1.3 QUINTILLION pounds!
How would Alex Salmond pay that off? 50p per week?
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The Infamous Culex said:
The annual interest alone is now £ 60,655,736,261.47
Scotland had a population of 5,295,000 in 2011 and, at an annual population growth rate of 0.6%, one can estimate the population to be 5,390,883 now.
The interest payments merely to service the loan would be £ 11,251.54 for every man, woman and “those we dinna ken” in Scotland.
Can Scotland really afford King Alex, or would they simply default on their debt?
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