(not satire – I think!)
Dear Labour,
Your recent party political broadcast was one of the worst I’ve ever seen. Admittedly I can’t say it’s actually the very worst I’ve seen – because that distinction goes to the English Democrats whose PPB was so, so very crap I had to check it was for real and not a parody.
Of course, I’m sure the English Democrats don’t have millions to spend on their PPBs – unlike you. And I’m sure the English Democrats don’t have teams of PR experts and media goons and internationally famous spin doctors – unlike you.
But despite all those things – you still managed to produce a crap PPB of epic proportions.
It was amateurish, cringeworthy, negative, pointless and aimed at the wrong target.
Luckily for you, I’m prepared to offer my own expert advice on what your PPB should look like. Happily, it’s so simple it could be made in someone’s bedroom at virtually no cost and – although admittedly you’ll have to dish out quite a bit of money to me for the idea – I’m sure it’ll still work out much less than you’re paying now.
So here you go:
(Black screen)
(The following words in stark white lettering appear along with a voice over:)
The Conservative and Liberal Democratic government are privatising the NHS
(Bold lettering)
Labour will keep hospitals in public hands.
The Conservative and Liberal Democratic government have given tax cuts to the richest
(Bold lettering)
Labour will reverse them.
The Conservative and Liberal Democratic government are selling off school playing fields
(Bold lettering)
Labour will put a stop to it.
The Conservative and Liberal Democratic government have tripled tuition fees
(Bold lettering)
Labour will halve them.
The Conservative and Liberal Democratic government have allowed energy prices to rise
(Bold lettering)
Labour will freeze them.
The Conservative and Liberal Democratic government have allowed living costs to rise drastically
(Bold lettering)
Labour will introduce a living wage.
The Conservative and Liberal Democratic government are allowing private rail companies to rip off passengers with sky-high ticket prices
(Bold lettering)
Labour will bring rail companies back into public hands.
The Conservative and Liberal Democratic government have increased government borrowing
(Bold lettering)
Labour will reduce it.
The Conservative and Liberal Democratic government have divided Britain
(Bold lettering)
Labour will bring Britain together again.
(please insert any other relevant policies here)
Vote Labour etc etc
As you can see it’s quite a radical departure for a PPB. It actually mentions policies.
Please make out the cheque for the consultancy fee to Thomas Pride.
Thank you.
Yours faithfully,
Tom Pride
.
Please feel free to comment.
.
Kevin Armes said:
I agree entirely with your vision of how an effective Labour PPB might look. However, I don’t agree with your denigration of the actual one. I think both messages need to be heard – the negative and the positive. Not all people are comfortable with stark facts on blank backgrounds, some need to have their interest provoked and a bit of humour can achieve that.
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sdbast said:
Reblogged this on sdbast.
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vicmart009 said:
Reblogged this on vicmart009 and commented:
Nice try on your part Tom Pride . Maybe some little piggy’s spend too much time around their own trough of paradise. Time for all these wannabe lefties to form a circle & create a new consolidated united party.
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jeffrey davies said:
if only it could be true that labour goes back to its grass roots but then wonder when that miracle will happen jeff3
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Colin Glazebrook said:
Could I suggest a couple more?
Conservatives & Liberals have destroyed the welfare system.
Labour will restore it for those in need of it.
Workers right have been badly erroded over the last 35 years.
Labour will restore them.
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nearlydead said:
Reblogged this on nearlydead and commented:
And a Robin Hood Tax.
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billgarnett2012 said:
it’s hard to think of an opposition who have been given so many targets to aim at and yet appear determined not to fire. What is going on? The opposition appears half hearted at best…no challenge to the persistant distortions that have been pedled for the last few years, no challenge to the demonisation of large parts of the population, no challenge to the widening gap in wealth, no challenge to the decimation of living standards suffered by the majority, no challenge to the obscene avoidance of tax by large corporations…the list goes on. Sadly Labour appear to be a very pale shadow of a true opposition, offerign a socialist agenda and real choice. Wake up Labour!
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translationscrapbook said:
Reblogged this on Translation Scrapbook.
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uoblibdems said:
Reblogged this on Soy centrista.
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Tom Pride said:
I’m not exactly averse to using a bit of humour myself to make a point. But humour needs to be funny. And the Labour PPB wasn’t.
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David Keight said:
Out of government and out of ideas… If they actually put some real policies and statements out there and looked different people might vote for them. …but they don’t. They should be putting forward a positive agenda for Scotland but all they are saying is ‘more of the same’.
In the 70’s the Conservatives had a slogan “Labour isn’t working” Maybe now they should have one saying “Labour isn’t thinking” !!
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Alice Moore said:
The political parties are converging so that we have practically got a one party state. I believe this has been designed deliberately and Tony Blair is now reaping his rewards. Bring back `old Labour`.
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Mervyn Hyde (@mjh0421) said:
The clear message from the video is kick a man when he is down, Clegg has already destroyed his own party, why waste time on him?
But then again Ed is desperate for any votes he can muster, looking for disenchanted Libdems who would more likely vote Tory than Labour.
We are witnessing the slow death of another Neoliberal party whilst the corporate state milks us dry.
The founders of the Labour Party in 1900 look like political giants compared to these clones, who have no conviction as they have no ideology, and merely repeat like parrots what the given wisdom of the day is.
It is too late for Ed Miliband now, he has had three wasted years to make himself relevant, he clearly is what he is, the only way forward for Labour is for real Labour to split and join up with Left Unite. Ed will not change and is too shallow to make any difference. Just what the Tories like, in or out of government their policies rein.
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Nikki Jayne said:
I thought it was brilliant! It made both myself and my parents properly laugh out loud. I’m surprised you didn’t find it funny. Very surprised! I’m no massive Labour fan but I have to give them credit for that.
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beastrabban said:
Reblogged this on Beastrabban’s Weblog.
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Robert Bradford said:
That is just about perfect !
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