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(satire?)

The Met’ Office has warned of record-breaking dangerously high levels of prime ministerial self-satisfaction affecting the UK, with smug-like expressions expected to spread across many other parts of the government in the foreseeable future.

Smug levels across Mr Cameron’s face have already reached level 9 (high) in the south-east, Greater London and eastern England with marked increases of ministerial arrogance also expected to reach dangerous levels in other parts of the cabinet.

The high levels of poor quality hot air from the prime minister are being caused by a combination of rising gaseous emissions and light winds of inertia from cabinet ministers as well as cold fronts of indifference being blown across the media, according to experts.

In order to avoid health problems, people with lung and heart conditions should avoid watching the prime minister or even looking at his face, the Department for the Environment, Food and Rural affairs said.

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