Tags

, , ,

(satire?)

The business secretary, Vince Cable, has refused to apologise over last year’s bargain-basement sale of his principles, despite a scathing report from the National Audit Office, which said he had auctioned himself off too cheaply.

In a lively debate in the House of Commons, Cable defended the controversial sell-off of everything he had ever stood for last October, insisting that his total sell-out had been a success and that there had been a real risk the disposal of his integrity could have failed if he had valued himself any higher.

We’ve taken a loss-making politician and turned me into a successful public figure of fun,” Cable said.

Shares in Mr Cable’s discarded integrity have soared more than 70%, trading at 565.5p on Tuesday, since their stock market debut at 330p a share in October. However, Cable defended his sell-out saying there was still a “great deal of froth” and market uncertainty around the real value of the Business Secretary.

The controversy comes just days after Mr Cable agreed to voluntarily vacate the moral high ground he has been struggling to occupy throughout his 4 years as a minister in order to take up a more suitable position lying in the gutter gazing at a peerage instead.

.

Related articles by Tom Pride:

Treasury to unveil new 12-sided Vince Cable

Met Office warns record-breaking hot air from Lib Dems to continue

Vince Cable’s opinion on loss of triple-A credit rating ‘largely symbolic’, says Vince Cable

Zoologists – Vince Cable and Ed Balls ready to mate soon

Met Office warns of thick fog causing chaos in Vince Cable’s mind

How much did cuddly Vince Cable know about the hanging of innocent Nigerian playwright Ken Saro-Wiwa?

Nick Clegg to Lib Dems – “Prepare for Oppositionment!”

Sheffield man left with nothing after falling victim to Westminster conmen

Coalition split after Tory minister says UK ‘peppered’ with too many wind-powered Lib Dem MPs

.

Please feel free to comment.

.


.