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The United Kingdom Independence Party has demanded that clocks should not be put forward one hour tomorrow morning, but that all clocks in the UK should be put back at least 50 years instead.

According to a statement released today by UKIP, the party is in favour of putting the clocks back to a time when women knew their place, gay people were just people who were happy and foreigners were only ever seen through the gunsights of a B52 bomber.

However a spokesperson for the coalition government dismissed the idea, stating road safety concerns:

With the huge amount of car crashes ministers have been causing recently, it’s essential more than ever that we avoid any more dangerous u-turns or maneuvers that might put our re-election in danger.


Yes I know B52 bombers were American not British but I’m claiming artistic licence.

Please feel free to comment.