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(satire?)

After more than 4 years of marriage to David Cameron, comic actor Nick Clegg has announced he is to separate from reality as part of a process he termed “Conscious Uncoupling“.

Clegg, 47, announced the separation in a statement posted on his blog:

It is with hearts full of sadness that the real world and I have decided to separate,” the Deputy Prime Minister wrote.

A spokeswoman for reality confirmed the split and said that the couple had been “working hard for well over a year” but that the differences between the Deputy Prime Minister and the physical world had “become too big to ignore”.

The announcement comes just 4 years after Clegg unexpectedly announced his intention to desert his senses and abandon all reason by moving in with Cameron – declaring his love for the Tory frontman in their now famous joint ‘rose garden’ press conference surrounded by the romantic smell of mutual sycophancy and the intense aroma of bullshit.

David-Cameron-and-Nick Clegg

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

Nick Clegg wins Best Actor Oscar for role in “4 Years a Slave”

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SIZZLING sexy Lib Dem calendar – HOTTEST Lib Dems of 2014!

EXCLUSIVE! Leaked phone call between Nick Clegg and Rupert Murdoch revealed!

Lib Dem councillor refers to deadly Ukraine clashes as ‘a Jolly’

Nick Clegg pledges clampdown on harassment of hot Lib Dem peers by women

Shocking extracts from the leaked report into sexual harassment by Lib Dem MP

Lib Dems use taxpayers’ money to suppress report into second sex harassment case

Lord Rennard on Cyril Smith: “a personal inspiration to me”

Is this the most jaw-dropping example of hypocrisy from the Lib Dems yet?

Nick Clegg to Lib Dems – “Prepare for Oppositionment!”

Scientists finally discover function of Nick Clegg

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