(satire?)
A new 12-sided Vince Cable has been unveiled by the Chancellor George Osborne to replace the famously two-faced one now in circulation.
Described as a “giant leap into the future” the new Mr Cable will replace the current Secretary of State for Business who the Treasury says has been too easy to fake. The present Mr Cable is thought to have an estimated total of more than 45m counterfeit opinions in circulation.
But unlike its predecessor, the new Business Secretary – who will be roughly as thick as the existing one – will contain an array of technological advances making it much more difficult for him to fake.
A Treasury spokesman said:
“Mr Cable is now more than 70 years old and he has become increasingly vulnerable to falsification over time. After 4 years’ loyal service the time is now right to retire the current Business Secretary and replace him with an even more two-faced one.”
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
Met Office warns record-breaking hot air from Lib Dems to continue
Vince Cable’s opinion on loss of triple-A credit rating ‘largely symbolic’, says Vince Cable
Zoologists – Vince Cable and Ed Balls ready to mate soon
Met Office warns of thick fog causing chaos in Vince Cable’s mind
Lib Dems poll fewer votes than the Pirate Party in by-election (not satire!)
Nick Clegg Sells Principles To Debenhams
Nick Clegg to Lib Dems – “Prepare for Oppositionment!”
Sheffield man left with nothing after falling victim to Westminster conmen
Coalition split after Tory minister says UK ‘peppered’ with too many wind-powered Lib Dem MPs
Please feel free to comment.
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Pride's Purge 
lmao, priceless.:D
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ROTFL.
Hey, had a thought!
12 sided pound coin, the same dimensions as the thrupenny coin.
And that is what my old whiskey bottle is full of!
That’s going to be worth more than I can earn in a year.
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Nice one Tom. Have you sent the link to him? I’m sure he’ll laugh his multi-faceted head off!
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Will the 12 sided Vince Cable be retiring to the house of Lords, where he can help wear further holes in many a man’s pocket, thus helping the rag trade.
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Reblogged this on Beastrabban’s Weblog.
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I think your pathetic snide comment about Vince Cable’s Jewish religion and the ‘rag trade’ is just sick. You really are a nasty, bigoted little cow, aren’t you? If you’ve got something against other religions, sexualities or races then for fuck’s sake just say so plainly. The fact is that you are a fucking wimp AND a bigot.
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Only a moron like you could think like that, I was referring to the rag trade as in producing more trousers which will be easily worn out with 12 sided coins in them you psychopath.
It is you that has a bloody one track mind. A jewish friend of mine attended my wedding and he would be disgusted if he heard how you are trying to demonize me.
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You say that bisexual people should be sent to prison, and you think YOU are being demonised??????? You fucking hypocrite!!!
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Have you got anything worthwhile to contribute to this blogg other than attacking me?
You attacked religion and the religious, even implying that I must be one of those religious nuts who was against homosexuality and you call me a hypocrite.
By the way my Jewish friend is also gay and is in property development not the rag trade.
You really are a thicko sicko aren’t you?
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Yes, on this blogggggggg I criticise nasty or stupid people. You are both.
I wasn’t attacking religion, I was taking the piss out of one religious fundamentalist who thinks the Earth doesn’t rotate. Can’t you tell the difference?
Ah yes… your gay Jewish ‘friend’. Just like all those gay members of your family you mentioned before!
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,You are the idiot and I quoite “if you’ve got something against other religions, sexualities or races then for fuck’s sake just say so plainly.”
I do say so when I have something to say, but you are now imagining things that I am saying.
You were not attacking your fundamentalist alter ego you were attacking me! Liar!
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So as well as having the alter-egos of Tom Pride, Devil’s Advocate and various others, you now also think I’m thetruthnotdoctrine???
Maybe I’m actually ALL the other posters (as well as editing the web site to make you look bad), and there’s only you and me on here!
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P.S. That was sarcasm, in case you’re too stupid to notice.
P.P.S. Nice video of ‘you’ – VERY classy!
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I was the one chasing the stripper! I was the stunner with the stun gun!
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Your mind is in a nasty, racist, homophobic fantasy world of it’s own, but that doesn’t excuse you.
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FI
guy fawkes said: March 18, 2014 at 12:29 pm
That’s me Fink!
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You have absolutely no sense of humour, no satire, no sarcasm, no nothing. I thought with you being a member of the Rocky Horror club you would love this video,
I guess I thought wrong, must be doing a Fink!
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I don’t think saying people should be sent to prison for being bisexual is funny at all. Or that gay men are predatory. Are you saying that you find these ideas amusing?
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Far from it, I find them about as amusing as you. How you got onto homosexuality and homophobia is beyond me, perhaps you just keep dropping that and the word bigot in for no reason at all in the hope that some Spy in the Sky might run to your aid, the boy who cried wolf.
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I have no doubt that you would prefer your disgusting views about gay and bisexual people are not mentioned any more. Tough luck – it’s not going to stop any time soon!
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No but when I want to give my views I will give them not having you foisting your delusionary, imaginary views on me, then cry wolfgang!
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You have already given your foul bigoted views very plainly, and your posts are far from imaginary…
guy fawkes said: February 7, 2014 at 7:50 pm
“I would make bisexuality illegal”
guy fawkes said: February 26, 2014 at 8:47 pm
“It is common knowledge that gay men especially are promiscuous and predatory”
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Both only partial quotes, both lacking the preamble that led to those statements, therefore not factually correct so Get lost little boy.
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Then please give us the full quotes which change the meaning. I think you will find it extremely difficult to deny the meaning of “I would make bisexuality illegal”… and I would love to see you try!
You could say RIGHT NOW that you didn’t mean it, but you won’t, because you did!
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OK, so let’s prove whether or not you are a hypocrite…
Do you still agree with your statement “I would make bisexuality illegal” – YES OR NO
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not without the rest of what i said i.e. if it proved harmful to victims, then I will say YES!
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Now get lost!
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What harm do you think bisexuality causes, and who are the supposed victims of your new ‘crime’ of bisexuality?
We can move on to your foul assertion about the predatory nature of gay men next.
… and much as you might hope for it, telling me to get lost isn’t going to make it so!
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If you really want to get rid of me, the only way is to say what you truly think, even if some people might regard it as not very politically correct. If it’s what you really think, then saying it is the same as thinking it. What’s wrong with that?
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Nothing providing you don’t have thick gets like you asking me to repeat it over and over – go to archives plonker and start printing the real facts not parts of it.
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Errrrrr… is that English? You said you have an ‘A’ level in English, but I sincerely doubt it!
I’ll try again – What harm do you think bisexuality causes, and who are the supposed victims of your new ‘crime’ of bisexuality?
… and your foul assertion about the predatory nature of gay men? Do you still agree with that?
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Parrots repeat things over and over again, birdbrain! You’ve got my answer, shame we can’t meet face to face I would give you your answer!
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… then why are you afraid to give an answer here? Is it because it’s public?
I’ll try again:
– What harm do you think bisexuality causes, and who are the supposed victims of your new ‘crime’ of bisexuality?
– Do you still think that gay men are especially predatory?
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You are the one that is afraid to answer anything that is why you change pseudonyms and hide behind each and every one, face to face an arse like you would not be harassing people for answers they have already given, they wouldn’t dare and I don’t mean on a web cam.
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Unlike you, I answer every question put to me. Go on, try right now…
The only answer you ever gave about the supposed harm you think bisexuality causes, was to suggest that I look at some porn sites. They are YOUR opinions, so why not explain them? What are you so afraid of?
I’ll try again:
– What harm do you think bisexuality causes, and who are the supposed victims of your new ‘crime’ of bisexuality?
– Do you still think that gay men are especially predatory?
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LIAR! No wonder people like you end up on the wrong end of someones fist.
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Bye Sneak, the only thing you are proving is what an arsehole you are!
You are not fit to walk in my shoes.
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Bye? No, I don’t think so!
I judge people’s politics by the quality and integrity of their arguments, but in your case it’s by the absence of any argument at all.
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You lying scumbag. There is both overt and covert field studies done in two academic sciences that I have repeatedly told you to find.
It is only because you do not want to find them because they prove you to be the liar not me.
http://victimsofgaybullying.wordpress.com/2013/06/15/the-barrymore-lubbock-scandal/
Here is something else you are trying to block.
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You think that by some mysterious means I’m blocking a web site entitled “The Rainbow: a promise of God” which says “Queers Are Getting Away With Murder”?
The first sentence on this web site is “The three Ds – drugs, deviancy and death – go together in the homosexual lifestyle.” Are you agreeing with that argument?
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You have nothing to say in reply to the above?????????????
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Your comment was not there at 10.57 when I posted the above, so just who is playing with comments, either you are some wordpress snoop or Tom Pride.
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Your powers of logic are non-existent! Obviously it’s not possible for me to be Tom Pride, but Tom Pride IS me. Don’t you remember him saying so?
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Perhaps you are his bum chum or his bum son, whichever you’re your a bum!
[Guy – I am not FinkFurst. But my son is 6 years old. Referring to him as my ‘bum son’ is not acceptable. Congratulations – you are heading to be the first person I have ever banned from commenting on this site. I’ve read your comments about me and my family on The Void website too – you are seriously delusional. Why the f*ck would I pretend to be someone else on my own website just to argue with you? Now why don’t you go ahead and ‘boycott’ my site as you said you would do on Johnny’s site’] – Tom
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That’s the sum total of your argument?… that I’m Tom Pride’s “bum chum”? I don’t know how old you are (I suspect about 55), but your mental age is about 5.5!
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OBD – Do you STILL think Ms Fawkes is a deep thinker?
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If we estimated your mental age, you would not be born yet, you are such a retarded individual in everything you say.
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Tom – May I suggest that if Ms Fawkes is willing to apologise then she should be given a second chance?
[An apology might change my mind. But I wish you would all stop these pointless attacks on each other and discuss the blog posts more. And if you must insist on attacking each other then please leave me – and especially my family – out of it. ] -Tom
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Tom – I will continue to attack homophobia, racism and other bigotry when I see it. You will have to ban me if you find the way I do so unacceptable. I have not mentioned your family and I will never do so. If you ask me to stop mentioning you then I will agree, but to be fair you willingly joined in the game of winding Ms Fawkes up.
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Criticise homophobia by all means. I haven’t banned anyone. Yet.
And yes, you’re right – I shouldn’t have commented. I didn’t realise you’d all go on so bloody long. Now can we please discuss something related to the blog posts?
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…and if I carry on criticising Ms Fawkes (or others) even when it’s off-topic – what will you do?
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Free speech isn’t quite the simple concept it first appears to be, is it?
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It’s extremely simple.
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Let’s test that assertion… Supposing Ms Fawkes said that gay men are predatory and should be castrated?
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OK by me. I believe the best way to fight intolerance is to give it enough rope and it’ll hang itself.
Don’t ban the EDL for example. Let’s have EDL and BNP members on our TV screens so we can all see what idiots they are.
Banning stupid opinions only gives them legitimacy and a weight they don’t deserve.
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I agree. So what if Ms Fawkes calls for gay men living in her home town of Hartlepool to be castrated?
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Then I think she (or he?) would be breaking the law. It’s against the law I believe to threaten violence. I’d also obviously have to consider my own legal position as publisher of the site. But if it was up to me personally – I’d prefer to let people see it for themselves.
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By the way – it’s amusing to think Guy really believes I’m having a conversation with myself here.
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Actually I don’t think that would be illegal. It would probably depend on how she called for gay men in Hartlepool to be castrated. The truth is that there are grey areas and it’s a matter of judgement. Anyway, I hope you see my point that free speech is not a simple issue.
Some years ago I and an American colleague were the two moderators on a scientific research discussion site (Usenet days). Initially we agreed that we would allow everything which was not illegal. We quite soon had to abandon that idea, because the discussion about the technical subjects became sidelined by political and personal arguments. I think you have to have know what you want your site to be, and use your judgement and editorial powers to guide it that way.
For that reason (and because I think your judgement is good), I disagree that you shouldn’t have commented about Ms Fawkes. I think you should comment and criticise MORE.
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How about criticizing fink then for his absolutely disgusting insults to people Tom, that is if you are not Fink.
Just listen to his inventive mind, who mentioned castrating gay men? he is deliberately being provocative and as your alter ego Tom, you are agreeing with him.
You are so transparent and prejudiced Tom Pride and I am done with your site.
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PS Fink you now have enough rope, it won’t be long before you hang yourself, you misoginist, you constantly fight with your female Stirling MP. if she really is your mp as you say on twitter.
[Guy – you promised on Johnny’s site you would boycott this site. Please let me know when I can expect this boycott to start. I’m really looking forward to no longer having to endure your homophobic comments.] – Tom
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Tom – Have you seen that your comments on http://johnnyvoid.wordpress.com/2014/03/19/shock-fall-in-number-of-employees/#comments have been removed?
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The word is “misogynist”.
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Yes. Johnny Void has attacked me before. It started round about the time this blog started getting more popular than his. 🙂
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Mine are “awaiting moderation”. I guess Johnny Void isn’t quite sure whether I’m you or not!
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