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(satire?)

WAKE UP BRITAIN!

Our country is facing a secret Stalinist takeover led by Cameron and his traitorous Eton, Oxbridge party apparatchiks.

Comrade Cameron isn’t even hiding his revolutionary ambitions any longer.

He has just announced the Tory Party is to be transformed into the Workers Party.

This recent move is yet more evidence that Cameron’s particularly aggressive form of British Conservatism is actually a cover for a secret Stalinist plot to establish a totalitarian revolutionary Soviet state in the UK:

  • Just like Stalin, Cameron’s forcing armies of unemployed workers into forced labour, with pitiful ‘wages’ paid for by the state, to carry out menial tasks such as stacking shelves in massive supermarkets.
  • Just like Stalin, Cameron has been using massive state-wide celebrations such as the Queen’s jubilee and the Olympics to divert attention from the dire state of the economy.
  • Just like Stalin, Cameron wants all power to be concentrated in the hands of a select few, for whom all manner of luxuries are allowed while the rest of the citizens face virtual starvation as a result of his policies.
  • Just like Stalin, one of Cameron’s main instruments of totalitarian rule is widespread propaganda in the print and the media, praising his party’s actions and blaming economic difficulties on ‘radical activists‘.
  • Just like Stalin, Cameron’s government regularly tries to rewrite history by ‘redacting’ unhelpful facts from history.
  • Just like Stalin, Cameron announced a 5-year plan to turn around the economy – exactly like the 5-year economic plans so beloved of the Soviet state planners. Not only that – but the announcement was made in a tractor factory! 
  • Just like those other respectable looking Stalinist sympathisers and undercover spies Guy Burgess, Donald Maclean and Anthony Blunt, Cameron was also educated at Eton and Oxbridge.

We have to stop these dictatorial monsters before it’s too late – before we all end up in a British version of a Gulag somewhere or spending our days filling shelves for slave wages in massive grey monstrosities of buildings while our masters live a life of luxury on the backs of our labour.

It’s time to stand up for everything we believe in. At stake is everything we hold dear, our whole way of life in the UK is under threat from a menacing blue and orange tide of Stalinist dictatorial infiltrator traitors.

It’s not the reds under our beds but the blues in our schools and the cleggs under our hospital beds we have to worry about.

Wake up Britain before it’s too late! 

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