(satire?)
Department for Work and Pensions considers privatisation of OAPs as part of search for savings.
The government is considering saving money by privatising state pensioners, according to Whitehall documents seen by Pride’s Purge.
In an effort to make up billions more in austerity savings, the Department for Work and Pensions has initiated a review of how it could sell off millions of pensioners and other social security claimants in the UK.
In a frank assessment, a policy review document distributed to senior civil servants in January says ministers and civil servants now need to “consider some more strategic shifts” such as looking at how state pensioners and other state benefit claimants can be removed in order to meet demands by the chancellor, George Osborne, to drastically cut their numbers.
Options mentioned in the document include selling off the over-65s to private equity firms, allowing foreign investors to buy up surplus old people in order to shift them abroad as well as the issuing of licences to farmers to allow them to cull pensioners in areas of the country with excess numbers of senior citizens.
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Please feel free to comment.
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Pride's Purge 
I’d like to see this in action!
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Reblogged this on My Blog.
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Oh lovely, may I please be exported to Italy, nice and warm, delish pasta and a nice bottle of Chianti, better than freezing to bloody death here.
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lol…in fact pmsl as well. goody goody. that means all those doddering old MPs who fall asleep while sitting trying to listen to cameron, osbourne etc and their lies. and o even better. the aforementioned and their cronies who wont be far off their pension ages either will also be sent away………..please dont send em where im going though./lol (just need to find some reason to send May & Mcvey with them.)lol
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LOL so funny, but don’t let camoron or Osbourne see it they might think it comes from a think tank and is a valid approach 🙂
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Tom – I think you’re onto something! Here’s an idea for all the immoral right wing parties (that means Conservative, Labour and LibDem)… If you add up the investment value of all pensioners’ private pensions, and set that against the future cost of state pensions, could it result in a profit??? If so, grab the private pensions ASAP!
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Many a true word said in jest….this Govt is so far to the right makes the Thatcher govt look like a Dr Seuss story!!!
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Given that we will then become a burden on the profit page, will euthanasia become a) Compulsory b) Optional c) or Bonuses be paid with profit once deceased?
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Does the Labour Brown ‘pension raid’ ring a bell?
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Many pensioners die quite soon after retiring. If they have private pensions, then why shouldn’t the government take or tax the remainder?
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i think the idea behind pensions was exactly that; people would retire and a few years later kick the bucket. The problem is we’re all living longer and longer…What to do !
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I was being sarcastic, but you’re right… What to do? A simple philosophy would be stop wasting resources and money on pointless wars, new nuclear weapons, HS2, failed IT projects, useless politicians, etc., etc. and spend it on the health and well-being of people who need it, both at home and abroad.
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+1
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…but -1 for being overly simplistic!
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Its a couple of lines on a blog what’re you looking for War and Peace? And its true the main reason pension pots are unsustainable, apart from successive thieving govts, is people are living much longer, particularly those on decent pensions !
I don’t think I’ll answer anymore posts on this subject I’ll get a reputation for hogging the thread…And that would never do…
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Very true… and your hogging criticism is very nicely put! You and others could say it to me more plainly, and I will try to hold my tongue in future, or at least be more succinct!
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oh dear. good as some of these suggestions are..i do so wish they werent being put on these blogs………..you simply do not know what spies are watching ???? they MUST be running out of ideas by now surely? do we really want to give them more? (btw..thats said tongue in cheek…just in case………then again , who knows WHAT that lot down in westminster are thinking,planning,doing. etc.)
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Seeing is believing!
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At today’s Cobra meeting David Cameron has expressed his undying support for Alastair Cook. He has said that the flooding which has occurred in recent days is entirely the result of British people crying following the ignominious Ashes defeat. He was unequivical in stating that Kevin Pietersen was responsible for the Ashes defeat and the flooding in many parts of the country, somewhere, he can’t remember. He claimed this mad privatising pensioners, in order to free them from their money, was essential in rebuilding the England Cricket team and the credibility of the ECB.
Eric Pickles said after the meeting that Cameron was a prick who didn’t know one pensioner from another.
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I don’t mind as long as they give the job to ATOS. After all these French chaps are already in charge of the wonderful NHS care.data scheme and their medical arm will be really good at getting us decrepit old buggers back to work.
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P.S. pippakin – I meant me being overly simplistic, not you.
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Guy Fawkes
It sure is…
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pippakin – I succinctly clarified it for your benefit. Take that as you wish, and then read your own words.
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FinkFurst
That’s very sweet of you, and, what?
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0!
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You should be knived for that comment nivekd.
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😉 Excellent, Mr F Wakes. (Only yours was better.)
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If everyone retired at pension age (which some who have really worked hard for it deserve), then there would be more work for the youngsters.
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“I hope I die before I get cold” (The Why)
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🙂 thanks nivekd.
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What is, or will be, “pension age”? Is perhaps a falling proportion of the population who will be in work inevitable, and we must plan for it instead of hiding our heads in the sand? Or should society try to create jobs even if they are fiscally neutral? I think the latter.
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I do not agree with the latter and putting a pensionable age on retirement and sticking to it is beneficial for freeing up jobs that are needed within society rather than creating jobs just for the sake of it – most of which if you look at the job creation in the work proviso sector is beneficial only for the middle class that are working within it and depleting the welfare pot, yet providing nothing of any use for the unemployed as statistics have shown.
Would you create manufacturing jobs, conveyor belt light engineering jobs, cleaning jobs skivying for low wages for those with salaries and expenses to pay for it, all of which can and were carried out in the past by women, rather than allow them to stay home and look after their children if they want to, which is in itself a worthwhile job when you consider the army of childminders and after school clubs needed to follow middle class idealogical thinking?
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I didn’t say creating jobs just for the sake of it. I mean jobs which may not make a profit, but are for the long-term benefit of society. Two examples are building or renovating social housing, and construction of rational renewable energy sources such as tide turbines. Would you agree with those? I don’t agree with creating extra jobs in the prison service by locking up people for dong things which harm nobody. Do you?
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Why should the building of social housing be a non-profit making job, especially when those that work in the social housing sector are profiting very nicely from it, enough to invest in more new vans than new houses for rent in the social sector.
The only reason there is a shortage of housing in the social sector is because housing associations have either renovated council properties and put them on the market to buy or part buy/part rent or they have knocked them down to build private houses for sale on the land that should be allocated for social housing.
THAT IS HOW THEY HAVE CREATED A SHORTAGE IN THE SOCIAL HOUSING SECTOR yet nobody can get a mortgage to buy the ones they have for sale because banks are not lending in deprived areas and when they do start lending it will not be to those that are employed to build not for profit homes.
I do agree that we need renewable sources of energy that would not damage the environment and would prefer to see tide turbines to fracking, but again those that work to construct either of the projects should be getting the going rate for the job.
As for the long term benefit of society, tell the housing associations to turn the houses they have stolen and cannot sell back into rented social housing , then we would not need to force people from their homes with bedroom taxes and other underhand tactics. Or are they waiting for another upturn so that they can charge those who can get a mortgage extortionate prices for their homes or wait for a downturn and sell them off at auctions dirt cheap to rich property developers.
Markets are manipulated daily so that corrupt politicians can carry out their ideologies.
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PS I don’t believe in locking people up that have harmed nobody, but when it is proven that they have harmed somebody then there could be a case for prison, would you not agree?
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You’re criticising how social housing currently works (or doesn’t work) and I don’t disagree. But that wasn’t my point – I’m trying to suggest how things could be changed for the better. I think that unless one has suggestions for change, then simply ranting about things is pointless, but that philosophy is totally alien to most online discussion! And I agree with your P.S., but can you make that case for the new criminal offence you proposed?
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How is creating not for profit jobs changing things for the better? what other solutions have you got to offer because there was not much on your table.
I believe if it ain’t broken then don’t pretend to fix it and that is what has happened in the social housing sector which can be reversed, eliminating the need for so many social housing homes to be built.
You knew all along what I was driving at when I said bisexuality should be made a criminal offence with regards to the damage that can be perpetrated towards innocent people, stop reverting back to subjects that have not only been covered but exhausted and I do not change my stance no matter how many times you come back to it, I will ignore it in future.
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“How is creating not for profit jobs changing things for the better?”
The NHS and the jobs it provides are not for profit (yet!), only for the good of society. I think that was a pretty good idea, don’t you?
If you think “bisexuality should be made a criminal offence” then perhaps you could describe the damage you think it causes? I’m not asking you to change your stance, only explain it.
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Some of those that work in the NHS are profiting very nicely from it in terms of salary and including PFI investors. the term non-profit making is a complete misnomer.
I think you are educated enough in the subject of sexuality to know what damage bisexuality can cause without me drawing you a diagram, so go to a porn site if you want to indulge in filth.
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I pity you. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have no hope or ideas for a better future.
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I have plenty of hopes and ideas for a better future, they just differ from yours and no I will not discuss them here, pick someone else’s brains if you are looking for fresh ideas, mine are patented.
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In this online environment you are only what you say, so if you have nothing to say then you are nothing.
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Tell me again, I must have missed it in all the blather about fkw, was there any kind of consensus on DWP plans to privatise pensions ?
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Consensus? I think you’re having a laugh! Almost nobody on here is even slightly interested in consensus.
My opinion (for what it’s worth) is that care of the elderly and supply of energy are the two overwhelming problems facing our society in the next few decades… and our politicians don’t yet have any good answers.
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There are no good answers! We’re living longer, breeding more and there is no way anyone is going to voluntarily stop doing either. Ask all the fifty something males with two kids under five…
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Do you have any answers to offer, even if you don’t think they’re quite good enough?
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A cull. I could name the first fifty odd to go…The list would not of course include me…
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spoken by the one true God finx the jinx, “if you have nothing to say you are nothing.”
What happened to “you say it best when you say nothing at all”? I wish you would take that maxim on board.
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Should I take that as a “No”? If so, that’s rather sad.
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That’s because you’re not interested in hearing what other people have to say. The fact that you never ask an open question proves it.
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Well there is land reclamation and water treatment both would need to be on a huge scale and neither offer immediate profits. Islands are being born of volcanoes and earth quakes but nature is a slow process and hardly any of it is happening where people want to live.
So no immediate answer but there is always, part of the cull, old fashioned all purpose war.
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Are we here to ask questions of individuals or are we here to comment on Tom’s satire? I thought it was the latter with a comment here and there on other peoples answers if necessary, but you seem to think that we are here to provide you with prodigious questions, being the know it all that you are.
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If that’s what you think, then why bother to answer me or anyone else at all? I thought the function of this and similar sites was to enable people who would otherwise not be able to communicate and express their views freely, to do so.
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That implies that you think the problem is available land area. Is that what you see as the limiting resource?
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Available, viable land is in very short supply and its not expanding ts diminishing while the planets human population is growing. Medical advances have ensured that we live longer and most diseases are either curable or containable.
I doubt reclaiming land and treating water are the right answers but they are two of the few and I don’t know of any others
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expressing ones views is not the same thing as asking YOU questions incase you hadn’t noticed.
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I agree, but I see energy as the limiting resource. If we had more and cheaper energy we could desalinate sea water, irrigate deserts, drain swamps, heat homes and greenhouses, grow more food, etc., etc. We could make more land viable and make better use of the viable land we’ve got.
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I only ask questions because I’m interested in your views. If you’re not interested in my views then that’s absolutely fine, but if so I can’t understand why you communicate with me at all. Why do you?
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You are only interested in ones views usually so that you can trash them in favour of your own preposterous views, adding personal insults in an effort to draw attention to your own self importance.
I usually reply to you these days as a bit of fun since we are on what is largely a site for satire.
If I was not interested in peoples points of view I would not read their comments, but even if I disagree with their comments there i would not say so in a way that is so disparaging that it actually stymies peoples freedom of expression, as you do, leaving those who will not take your crap lying down with no alternative but to retaliate in kind. Is that your idea of conversing?
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Yes, a ‘robust’ exchange, including personal criticism, is one form of conversing, and many people have no problem with it. I tend to only be disparaging if the other person does so first (as you did) because it indicates that they are happy with that form of exchange. I can converse in whatever way you might prefer.
Would you like to converse with me in a polite exchange of views, or strongly worded arguments, or would you prefer to have no conversation at all? There’s no need to answer that question directly, because your answer will be implicit.
Perhaps I can ask you a question. Which of my views would you say is the most preposterous?
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P.S. How can you know if you’re interested in somebody’s views or not if you haven’t read them?
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You take every opportunity to express your views and opinions on here so how can we not read them, unless we skip over them, or were you referring to your extended versions of a particular view you would like to see aired, if only I played ball and asked the right questions for you to rabbit on.
You have the audacity to say you are only disparaging if the other person does it first, AS I DID? I do not think so, I have opinions like you do and if you want to take them personally then that is up to you, but it was you that threw the first insult and no I will not find it for you in the archives, nor will I look for instances where I think your views are preposterous because they are usually linked to insults also.
If I feel like replying or commenting on anything you say then I will as I may or may not answer any questions you throw at me, but I refused to be compelled to do either.
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I put a spelling mistake in there for you to fret and comment over.
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There’s no need worry, nobody can compel you to answer. Everything you say on here is entirely your own responsibility.
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I think you mean choice, responsibility is something you should be aware of in your comments not I.
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That was the collective “you”, so everybody is included.
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Well perhaps you should have used the collective ‘me’ i,e. you and your aliases.
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I have only one username on this site. If you think I have more then it’s your delusion.
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Lies are becoming your trademark.
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…which other usernames do you think are also me?
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perhaps none on this thread but certainly on other postings which I pointed out at the time.
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reply a few comments up.
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Was that the one where you said you think I’m really Tom Pride?
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as in gay pride you mean?
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Now you think Tom is gay???
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guy fawkes said:January 11, 2014 at 8:40 pm
“Finkfurst – You practice character assassination on me then run with my argument you dick.”
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… and my replies also a few comments up.
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