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By our Chief Economic Editor

Official inflation of the Chancellor George Osborne’s ability to run the economy unexpectedly fell to a dramatic new low in December when incredibly the Bank of England announced the UK economy was improving for the first time in four years.

A smaller rise in dubious claims of growing prosperity have offset a surge in assertions of far-fetched improvements in living standards, economists said, and recent increases in supplies of intolerance have seen stocks of spin, lies and disinformation reach their lowest point in three years, with shares in truth and integrity also rapidly falling. 

The surprise fall in realistic assessments of the cost of living drove the consumer incredulity index to its highest level since November 2009, when it stood at 1.9% – just a tenth of a percentage point short of you-couldn’t-make-this-shit-up – the Office for National Statistics reported yesterday.

Recent figures also show levels of scruples and rectitude have fallen sharply across the country since June’s high of 2.9%, and economists warn official government figures on the economy could reach a consistent level of regularly telling huge, unsubstantiated, staggering whoppers as the next general election approaches in 2015.


For more dazzling information on George’s brilliance, here are some other articles by Tom Pride:

Police called to George Osborne’s home after reports his lights on but nobody at home.

More People Believe In The Loch Ness Monster Than In Osborne’s Ability To Run Economy

Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’. Really.

The Irony Chancellor

Countdown – red faces as contestant spells out naughty word from OBSOREN

Loss-Making Osborne To Be Sold Off to US Conglomerate


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