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A journalist who unconvincigly tried to disguise himself as a human being attempted to sneak into the hospital room where Michael Schumacher is lying in a coma, according to German media.

Schumacher’s manager, Sabine Kehm, told German journalists about the ridiculous attempt by a reporter to appear human after a press conference in Grenoble:

Apparently a journalist tried to dress himself up as a human and tried to gain access to Michael’s room,” Kehm told a reporter from Die Welt.

Obviously the reporter’s obvious lack of humanity gave the game away and the intruder was instantly recognised as a member of a profession so inhuman they’re be prepared to sell off their own grandmothers for a small fee and escorted off the premises immediately.”

Gérard Saillant, a leading Parisian brain surgeon and close friend of Schumacher’s appealed to the assembled journalists not to obstruct the clinical staff’s work by being the usual bunch of hard-hearted, unfeeling odious pr*cks that they usually are.


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