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(satire?)

According to an exclusive new survey conducted by Pride’s Purge, we can reveal that the Conservatives have the biggest cocks in the House of Commons, including the Prime Minister David Cameron, the Chancellor George Osborne and the Education Secretary Michael Gove.

We can also exclusively disclose that the results of our detailed research show the Conservatives to be home to the largest tits in Parliament – with Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt and Home Secretary Theresa May as prime examples of a particularly large pair.

However, Liberal Democrats can claim to have the largest arseholes in Parliament – with the party containing such prominent leading bungholes as Nick Clegg and Danny Alexander.

A spokesperson for Pride’s Purge rejected criticism the research was poorly conducted and immature:

This is vital information which could affect the way voters cast their votes at the next election.

For example, if the electorate would prefer the country to be run by large cocks, massive tits and large numbers of arseholes, they will now know who to vote for.

In a separate development, women’s equality groups have reacted strongly to the new research by condemning the dearth of c*nts in the cabinet, with just one in a senior position at the Department of Work and Pensions – albeit quite a big one.

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Well if this blog’s going to be blocked as porn by Cameron’s farcical web filters, I might as well have the satisfaction of writing about big cocks and massive tits.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

Tory MP’s own website blocked by porn filter she advocated

Singaporean hacker creates free program to bypass Cameron’s internet censorship

How Cameron’s plans to block on-line porn could also block political sites

Satire like Porn? How 3UK are bringing Chinese-style political censorship of web to UK

How media hacks are desperately trying to keep up with social media – and failing

State of civil liberties in the UK – call an MP a coward and face jail

Facebook censors political satire after complaint from JobCentre Plus

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