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(satire?)

In a process involving bodily fluids, knitting and complete b*llocks, Westminster-based radical performance artist Iain Duncan Smith has taken his work to an extreme new level.

Mr Duncan Smith calls himself an “anal knitter” and his latest work is called ‘Pulling The Wool Over Your Eyes’ in which he knits policies using a ball of facts which have been taken straight from his arse.

I pull the facts from my arse and I knit new policies that come straight from my anus,” says Mr Duncan Smith. “So each day I go into Westminster with a ball of facts inside my bottom and I spend about six hours creating new policies from them – it takes about six hours each day.

It feels akin to holding a whole ball of bollocks up your jacksie.

Mr Duncan Smith said the process can sometimes be a little uncomfortable, and other times a little arousing.

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Never mind vaginal knitting – we’ve got ministers who knit policies with facts taken straight from their arses.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

Iain Duncan Smith and Universal Credit – a case of a tool blaming his workmen?

Iain Duncan Smith bullied aide to tears over his expenses claims for – underwear!

Iain Duncan Smith test drives new driverless robot government department at DWP

Etymological maps of common words like ‘clegg’, ‘cameron’ and ‘duncan smith’

Only one problem with the government’s list of top ten benefits fraudsters – it doesn’t exist

Government Announces Clampdown On Work-Shy Babies 

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