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(satire?)

In a speech to the House of Commons on Thursday, the Chancellor George Osborne set out more details of a planned clampdown on workshy grannies and feckless grandpas after the next general election.

Mr Osborne told MPs during his Autumn Statement that the UK can no longer afford unemployed grandparents who think they can layabout doing nothing all day on state benefits such as pensions, and he added that further permanent cuts to senior citizens will be required to make the public finances “sustainable”.

The cap on unproductive elderly relatives is an attempt by the Chancellor to put permanent limits on the number of people getting old and to introduce massive reductions of spending on luxury items such as disabled children and cancer patients.

Mr Osborne yesterday hinted that, even after the current austerity programme, more cuts to the numbers of people who are either too old or too sick to stack shelves in Poundland will be needed to give Britain an “affordable state”.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

The government has finally done something so outrageous even I can’t be bothered to satirise it

Osborne’s Autumn Statement in a nutshell: old people are too expensive

Coalition government to sell off UK population to foreign investors by 2020

Full-scale codger cull set to get government go-ahead

Don’t turn your back. Because you’re going to be disabled too one day

Let’s be clear – Tory and Lib Dem MPs have decided terminally ill patients should work or starve

8 government policies which look like satire but aren’t

The remarkable short poem which sums up Osborne’s austerity Britain so well

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More People Believe In The Loch Ness Monster Than In Osborne’s Ability To Run Economy

Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’. Really.

George Osborne Is Not A Wanker – He’s A Genius!

Countdown – red faces as contestant spells out naughty word from OBSOREN

Between 1998-2011 child poverty plummeted. Under Clegg and Cameron it’s soaring.

SERCO wins bid to run UK as Victorian theme park

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Cameron’s Big Society – TOFFS paying SPIVS to rip off PLEBS

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