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(satire?)

The coalition government is to sell off its remaining stake in British people as part of its ambitious plan to privatise £63.23bn worth of the UK population by 2020.

The announcement is contained in the new national infrastructure plan (NIP) which sets out over £375bn of planned privatisations of UK citizens to mainly foreign investors up to and beyond 2020.

The plans include a new target for selling off the entire population of the country to foreign investors, including major sales of British people to Chinese government-managed investment funds.

It comes just weeks after ministers were criticised for understating the value of the nation’s blood before its sale to US private equity firm Bain Capital.

Government ministers however are confident the forthcoming sale of British sweat and tears will exceed expectations of potential investors.

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