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(satire?)

Olympic diver releases video revealing he is not amphibious and he ‘couldn’t be happier’ with his new humanoid partner

The Olympic diving star Tom Daley has said he is in a relationship with a human, making the announcement via a video on YouTube to “put an end to all the rumours and speculation” about what species he is.

Daley, 19, said he “couldn’t be happier” in the five-minute video in which he speaks about his new homosapien partner for the first time and confirms what many have suspected for a long time – that he is not an amphibian but is in fact at least partly human.

Daley, who won a bronze medal at the London 2012 Olympics, said he had only told a handful of people about his homosapien relationship:

I’ve been dating dolphins but I’ve never really had a serious relationship to talk about. But come spring this year my life changed massively when I met someone and, well, that someone is a human. It did take me by surprise a little bit dating someone without fins. But it felt right. Of course, I still fancy fish and other sea creatures a bit but, I mean, right now I’m dating a human being and I couldn’t be happier. It feels safe and it really does feel right.

There has been speculation for many years that Daley has a preference for water living creatures or was at least amphibious but many people claim they could tell Daley was homosapien just by looking at him.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

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UKIP candidate – physical exercise prevents homosexuality (no – not satire)

Church of England accused of homophonaphobia

CAMERON – drama queen of the desert?

Not Tory! Post-Tory, ex-Tory and proud. Get over it!

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