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(satire?)

The Prime Minister David Cameron has announced he is to launch an inquiry into the growing scandal of addiction and use of pure ‘methodism’ by senior bankers.

The announcement comes as former bank boss Paul Flowers was told he is to face a police probe after he was accused of being addicted to pure ‘methodism’ as well as habitual use of dangerous crackpot banking schemes during his time as chairman of the Co-op bank.

Friends and colleagues of the drug addict were stunned last night as the former bank boss they regarded as a pillar of the drug-taking community was exposed as a secret methodist minister.

Shocking video footage showed Mr Flowers ‘ministering’ pure methodism in a Leeds United Methodist Church.

Narcotic experts say that pure ‘methodism’ in combination with dangerous ‘crackpot banking’ is a powerful and extremely addictive man-made stimulant and its use can lead to severe physiological and psychological dependence.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

Drug addict ‘seeking help’ after admitting being a banker

IMPORTANT! How Lloyds can cut their losses by £200 million (and make me rich in the process)

It’s not the Left that believes in Magic Money Trees. It’s the Right.

Barclays Pays Executive £3m to Clamp Down on High Pay

Scientists Claim Tiny Sub-Atomic Traces of Ethics Discovered in Barclays

Be happy! 9 Barclays incompetent fatcats got £40m. The rest of us 1p on a pint.

Embarrassment for Cameron after Magic Money Tree found growing in Lloyds Bank

Independent Commission – excessive banking can cause blindness

The (Real) Definition Of Credit Ratings From AAA to Junk Status….

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