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(satire?)
London Mayor Boris Johnson has announced he is to paint his arse blue in an effort to reduce the amount of cyclists who are being killed on London’s roads.
The move comes not long after several studies revealed that changing the colour of the Mayor’s backside will have about just as much affect on the safety of cyclists using London’s roads as painting blue lines on them.
The announcement is part of Mr Johnson’s long-term drive to improve congestion in the capital by removing the large numbers of dead cyclists who are at present littering London’s major highways and junctions as well as preventing cyclists who insist on throwing themselves under the wheels of heavy goods vehicles and buses from slowing down traffic.
Boris Johnson’s adviser Andrew Gilligan, the journalist who became the London mayor’s cycling commissioner in January, said in an interview yesterday he did not want the high possibility of cyclists having their bodies mangled and their heads squashed under the wheels of large vehicles in the capital to discourage people from using bicycles on London’s roads and that being dead should not put people off cycling.
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Please feel free to comment.
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drew said:
I’m a transport manager in London. I also cycle and ride a motorcycle plus, I’m responsible for lots of lorry drivers. In my 30 years, i have seen many changes in London.
There Are many more cyclists in London now.
The congestion charge has had a thinning out effect on car traffic in the centre of town.
Having faster moving traffic and higher numbers of cyclists on the same patch of road is a major hazard.
London needs to plan how it gets people, goods and services in and out. Waste collection and construction projects all need complicated planning in advance.
What Boris has done is make public transport too expensive and unreliable.
The torys have made housing too expensive.
For many workers in the capital, cycling to work is the only cost effective transport option?
Boris has painted himself into a corner by relaxing or altering legislation regarding truck and bus movements in London so that they now conflict with rising cyclist numbers.
The two can not safely co exist.
Trucks & buses are essential to London’s economy.
They also have blind spots, making it difficult to see cyclists approaching.
Proper, segregation of two wheeled transport and pedestrians, such as in many European cities is the answer, but requires a great deal of hard work.
Otherwise its a compromise which will lead to further loss of life.
Boris really hasn’t thought his Transport policies through at all.
He should be brought to account.
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The Infamous Culex said:
“My Johnson’s adviser Andrew Gilligan”
What exactly does Gilligan advise your Johnson to do?
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Tom Pride said:
The Infamous Culex – I’ve corrected the typo now which makes your comment look pretty weird. 🙂
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noneoftheabove1 said:
Cyclists and motorists share the roads, when there is a collision between the two the result is usually a dead or injured cyclist with no damage to the motorist, in my experience this means that the cyclist is generally far keener to avoid collision than the motorist, some motorists are really not very careful at all. If cyclists were allowed on the pavement with pedestrians, a collision between the two would probably result in mutual injury, both parties have a roughly equal interest in avoiding collision, it is unlikely to result in death. However, discussing allowing cyclists to share pavements with pedestrians is a taboo subject. Why?
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thepositivevoice said:
Reblogged this on thepositivevoice.
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syzygysue said:
Great to read such an informed view. Like the debate about health care, the very real problems arise out of the combined effect of Tory policies and won’t be solved by cyclists having to take their cycling proficiency badge!
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Jeremy said:
bleedin’ obvious innit – the pedestrians would have to walk in the road!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tying with cat on keyboard – try it sometime……..
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noneoftheabove1 said:
No, bikes and pedestrians sharing the pavement
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nedhamson said:
Reblogged this on Ned Hamson Second Line View of the News and commented:
Red would be better or maybe dayglow lime and orange
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marc said:
Segregation is the problem a cyclist riding up the left side of truck driver will be in a blind spot. If that same cyclist moved into a position slightly right of center directly in front of the truck they would be seen. The truck driver would then see the cyclist and because they saw the cyclist their would be no possible for way them to hit them accidentally. You would either have a patient truck driver or one facing first degree murder charges. No accidental deaths.
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noneoftheabove1 said:
That’s true, however, my personal experience is of an articulated lorry coming up my right hand side and turning left across my path on a roundabout. If I hadn’t spotted him and reacted quickly I would be dead. I contacted the company he worked for, they spoke to the driver and he claimed he didn’t see me. Knowing the circumstances I don’t believe him, but in the case of a dead cyclist and a living truck driver claiming it was the cyclists fault for sliding along the inside who’s story will be believed. Personally I do exactly as you say, go up the outside, unless on the very rare occasion that I’m confident that whatever the driver might do I have an escape route.
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guy fawkes said:
A blue goon doing a blue moon – priceless.
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Karl said:
Reblogged this on Jaunty Angle and commented:
Don’t ever imagine that it has anything to do with HGV’s or poor road infrastructure. Great post by Tom, which is oddly not as satirical as it may seem at first sight.
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The Phantom Plopper said:
The Tory blue buffoon imitates the backside of a baboon? Baboons everywhere shall be most offended!
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