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(satire?)

Groups representing the rights of lizards and reptiles have announced they are planning to sue David Icke for suggestions made in his books and on the internet that they might be in any shape or form Tony Blair.

A draft of the lawsuit says many lizards’ good reputations have been ruined by the malicious publication of false and defamatory accusations by Mr Icke that they are the former Prime Minister in human form.

In response, Mr Icke defended his accusations but appeared to back away from direct claims that a 6-foot lizard might be Mr Blair:

Obviously I can understand reptiles being a bit upset by being compared to Tony Blair but the suit is without merit and I stand by my reporting,” the former sports presenter said.

However, one prominent member of the reptilian family broke their months-long silence on Wednesday to talk about the devastating effect the accusations against them have had:

We have had to endure the trauma of being smeared in public as a monster,” the gecko said at a news conference. “Our lives have been destroyed by the defamation we have suffered by being compared to Blair – this will last a lifetime and in all likelihood smear our children’s lives too.”

The writ for libel also says the former professional footballer – who now globally promotes conspiracy theories and claims a global elite of 6-foot reptilians are enslaving the world population – has “spitefully destroyed reptilian reputation by publicly claiming lizards are Tony Blair in an attempt to capitalize financially in the wake of the realisation by most people that Mr Blair is a sly, calculating, self-obsessed war-monger who is also quite clearly a bit of a slimy sleazeball too.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

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McBride revelations raise important question in public mind: who the f*ck is Damian McBride?

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Why Syrian War Crimes Are Very Naughty – by Charles Saatchi

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West Mulls Military Strikes Against IKEA

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