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(satire?)
BAE Systems is to create 1,775 benefits cheats at its yards in Scotland and England and end responsible taxpaying altogether at Portsmouth.
The firm said 940 feckless workshy scum and 170 trashy chavs on handouts will be created at the Portsmouth site, which will retain repairs and maintenance work.
BAE Systems currently employ a total of 4,400 hardworking, taxpaying strivers in shipbuilding in the UK, 1,200 in Portsmouth and 3,200 responsible, middle class, hard-working heads of families across Govan, Scotstoun, Rosyth and Filton.
Some 635 lazy, benefit-cheating, sponging scroungers will be created at yards in Govan and Scotstoun, on the River Clyde in Glasgow with 235 lazy, cigarette-smoking, flat-screen TV watching, lager-drinking, hoody-wearing, council estate living, idle skivers will be created at the firm’s Filton office, near Bristol.
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Please feel free to comment.
Pride's Purge 
I bet they’ve all got iPhones.
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I thought for a minute that was an article from the Daily Mash …
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Don’t forget these wasters will have children in tow. Why didn’t they think about how the tax payer was going to fund these children before they had them?
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Dear Ben. Have you ever tried to cancel a phone contract?
What a fucking crass thing to say about people who’ve just been told,WEEKS before Christmas , that they’ve lost their job!
Also. It’l be a lot more than approx a thousand people affected, it will devastate the economy of Portsmouth, home of the worlds oldest Naval Dockyards.
Jeez. I hope you’re kidding.
Otherwise, take your head for a shit, do.
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are you fucking serious??
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I’m somewhat torn by this news. On one hand it’s a thoroughly good thing that the world market for warships is declining. On the other it’s very difficult for the people who will lose their jobs.
I would suggest that these same skilled workers and shipyard facilities should be used for constructing tide turbines, which is the only current ‘green’ energy source which makes sense. This may take some government investment, but it would be money well spent.
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Dire that BAE dodge the estimated £110million bill for their 3,000 national redundancies leaving the taxpayer to pay it! Might the obliging ‘close Portsmouth, preserve Clyde’ scheme have any link to Bliar’s helpful close-down of the Saudi bribery prosecution against BAE?
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or, indeed, Cameron seeking the correct vote on Scotland’s independence??????????????? Divide and rule
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Don’t forget a quarter of these suddenly workshy scroungers will be spuriously sanctioned within weeks of any claim they make at JC+
McVey will say that this is fair and for their own good.
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Reblogged this on Vox Political.
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Pingback: BAE announce plans to create 1,775 workshy, fec...
Ooooooh! I aleays fancied living in Bristol. I couldn’t do that! Please can I not have one of these jobs they’re getting rid off. Do I need my own massive flat screen or is it provided as part of the resettlment package I wouldn’t be entitled too? I can provide my own fags but obviously no current refrences. When can I not start?. Nice one Mike, made me smile.
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Within a few months many of them will be on the Gov. Mandatory Intervention Regimes, ie shelf-stacking for tescos to help instill a proper “work ethic”.
It’s all part of the Tory’s economic miracle.
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Reblogged this on kickingthecat.
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Un-bloody-believable! I’ve said all along that no-one is safe in their jobs and that things would only get worse. This is nothing to what is going to come 😦
Just think, these “scroungers” are going to be competing with millions already working for nothing in thousands of workfare jobs – the future of our country – work for nothing and receive a benefit of well less than the cost of living!
What a friggin’ disgrace this country is…
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This may take some government investment, but it would be money well spent.
I would have thought by now with the state of #DWP #NHS #Education you would have realised this coalition of incompetence does not do “moeny well spent”
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Mike, satire as an art-form is so subtle sometimes, that people miss it in the same way, I presume, that they might look in a mirror and not realise the person staring back is them-self.
Actually, it’s not only the subtlety of good satire, it’s the way that, if it comes so close to stating a feasible truth, it is either more believable, or more hilarious.
You are one of the masters thereof!
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Kevin – Absolutely. I’m under no illusion that this government (or a Labour one) is capable of spending money wisely, or even vaguely competently. For starters, they ALL want to spend many billions on new nuclear weapons! Why????
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well it was rather a silly thing to say ben,but you most likely were trying to be a bit flip and making a joke hun ,but it is rather a sensitive subject and the written word can often be misunderstood,as there is no body language for someone to judge exactly how you mean it hun better luck nxt time eh
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being disabled with no cures for my four “”ailments””and having been put on the work related programme at the dwp,i live in mortal fear of presenting myself to them for the 6 weekly interview,im afraid of the people inside ,afraid to be seen entering the building,incase anyone is abusive ,i hardly leave my house,cant shop anymore even for basics,i dont want to be labled a chav beer swilling hoody for god sake im a 49yr old mum whose daughter has just entered st andrews university,to study geology,who used to have her own business..an accident put pay to that…i’m finding it harder to leave my home at all and its all because of what this stinking bunch of lowlifes are causing you know the ones we didnt elect ,the one who have inflated the countries debt by 6000%who are filling there own pockets after taking from the weakest of this country,,,,,its said that you can judge just how civilised a country is by how it treats its weaker,sick members of society
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i feel for those poor people losing their jobs but would aslso like to know why didnt the company diversify they could other things from the same materials aka trains hmmmmmm
planes at least the outer shells ect cranes obviosly not got good management
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I was indeed being flippant, I was extending the theme of the blog. in as much as every criticism of the ‘idle dolewaller’ ends in some remark about their choice of smartphone.
I have to ask did you actually read the blog? I’m pretty sure that BAE didn’t announce what Tom has credited them with saying. indeed I might regard the blog as flippant. so in keeping with this style o writing I made a flippant remark.
having said that and given that I can’t read your body language, I’ll ask you the same question but I’ll capitalise it to emphasise my incredulity…
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?
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If you want to be factual about it, most of them probably DO have the latest smartphones, and so do their kids and partners. If they can’t find a new job then the phones will have to go, along with the big TV and Sky sports subscription, takeaway food, etc. etc. That’s the harsh reality of being jobless……. or is it?
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Are there really people so stupid that they don’t understand that this is criticism of the government? Thatcher’s attacks on education did the trick, then.
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I wasn’t being factual. and neither was the author of this blog.
when the money runs out, tough decisions will have to be made…so probably yes.
my iPhone joke is pretty tame (I’ll say it wasn’t my finest but hey ho) but considering the text of this blog…
Caroline, I probably owe you an apology, I think I genuinely misunderstood your comment.
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I know you weren’t intending to be factual, and nor was Tom Pride (he very seldom does!). I said IF YOU WANT to be factual… and I was being facetious.
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ah thank fuck for that 😉
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Happened to listen to question time tonight-did not know it was also broadcast on Radio 5.IN a lambast at Nigel Farage ,Anne Soubry stated that his party was attempting to garner votes by the creation of other whilst bemoaning the fact that far too many people in this Country did not want to work,this a few minutes after a discussion about the job losses.I would point out that her GOvernment’s whole modus operandi is based on the tactics she supposedly deplores but I fear it would be lost on her.
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Shame that Tom’s Pride leaves satire that so many people don’t understand. Jonathan Swift had a similar problem. Shut the fuck up about flat sceen tvs and kids.
Yes it’s good that warships aren’t built but it won’t stop, it will go elsewhere. How about building executive yaughts instead at a mere £150 million a time? Billionaires are growing every day, or maybe build floating homes for people who don’t want to go to war. BAE Systems is a strange title. British Aerospace ie Bae merged with Marconi Systems and ended up with that title. Bae Systems, innovating for a safer world. Only selling to countries to defend themselves. I kinow a lot on this subject, but I can’t uinderstand why you slag off the workers. Just grow up and look where you work an why.
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“Bae Systems, innovating for a safer world. Only selling to countries to defend themselves.”
Are you being serious?
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Soubry also stated she was not prejudice when talking of immigration, but is prejudiced enough to say the people in her own country are workshy when it is her government that wants it’s own to work for nothing in anything that looks like part-time, temporary employment, then sanctioning their benefits if they refuse.
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Funny, I thought the same. Turning their skills towards the positive. Plowshares and all that. I just hope that they are not abandoned, skills like that take a long time to learn and a short time to loose.
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I am not going to vote for ANY party which thinks my money is better spent on the means of killing people than on the means of helping people. It’s that simple. If there is no such candidate in my constituency, then I won’t vote.
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go and write on your ballot paper why you have spoilt your ballot. that’s what I do. at least they know nobody represents me.
this time I’m thinking about adopting a slightly different tactic. Actually standing myself…
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Fortunately I live in a country where nuclear disarmament is clearly achievable in the next year or two, and I can vote for it to happen. I suspect that you have no such possibility.
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1775 less Tory voters ….GOOD !!!!
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