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(satire?)

Network Rail optimistic full passenger rip-off will resume on Tuesday morning 

Network Rail was optimistic that full passenger rip-offs would be restored across the railways on Tuesday and rail companies hope they will be able to fully resume swindling passengers out of their hard-earned cash from early this morning.

A decision was taken to to cancel most long-distance and local scams before the morning peak after Monday’s storm hit rail companies’ ability to short-change passengers across most of southern England

By the evening rush hour most commuter train operators were running a limited daylight robbery service, but the public were warned that in some parts of south-west England passengers may still have to temporarily delay handing over huge amounts of their money to ridiculously overpaid railway executives to buy over-priced tickets in order to travel on overcrowded, unreliable trains that smell of toilets and cat sick until normal services are resumed.

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There’s a solution:

Re-nationalise the Railways

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