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(satire?)

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Welcome to our energy price calculator which helps find the better deals for you. The calculator searches our available gas and electricity tariffs and picks out the cheapest based on the energy you use.

1) Choose one of the following tariffs which best suits you and your needs:

jumpers british gas plan

2) Go to your nearest clothes store and ask for the tariff which most closely matches your choice

3) Now shut the f**k up about how you can’t afford to heat your home. We really really really couldn’t give a shit. Got it?

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Never mind a UK referendum on ceding power to Brussels. What about China?

David Cameron stands by plan to reduce energy bills with more hot air

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